DUCHESS You don't know much and that's a fact. Here, you may nurse it a bit, if you like! [_Flings the baby at ALICE._] I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen. [_She goes into the house._] ALICE If I don't take this child away with me, they're sure to kill it in a day or two. Cheshire Puss, would you tell me please, which way I ought to walk from here? CAT That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. ALICE I don't much care where-- CAT Then it doesn't matter which way you walk. ALICE So long as I get _somewhere_. CAT Oh, you're sure to do that, if you only walk long enough. ALICE Please, will you tell me what sort of people live about here? CAT All mad people. ALICE But I don't want to go among mad people. CAT Oh, you can't help that; we're all mad here. I'm mad. He's mad. He's dreaming now, and what do you think he's dreaming about? ALICE [_Goes to the FROG to scrutinize his face._] Nobody could guess that. CAT Why, about you! And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be? ALICE Where I am now, of course. CAT Not you. You'd be nowhere. Why, you're only a sort of thing in his dream; and you're mad too. ALICE How do you know I'm mad? CAT You must be, or you wouldn't have come here. ALICE How do you know that you're mad? CAT To begin with, a dog's not mad. You grant that? ALICE I suppose so. CAT Well then, you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad. ALICE I call it purring, not growling. [Illustration] CAT Call it what you like. Do you play croquet with the Queen today? ALICE I should like it very much, but I haven't been invited yet. CAT You'll see me there. [_Vanishes._] ALICE [_To squirming baby._] Oh, dear, it's heavy and so ugly. Don't grunt--Oh--Oh--it's a--pig. Please Mr. Footman take it! FROG [_Rises with dignity, whistles and disappears into the house; a kettle comes bounding out. ALICE puts pig down and it crawls off._] CAT [_Appearing again._] By-the-bye, what became of the baby? ALICE It turned into a pig. CAT I thought it would. [_Vanishes._] [_FROG comes out of the house with hedgehogs and flamingoes._] CAT [_Reappearing._] Did you say pig, or fig? ALICE I said pig; and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly; you make one quite giddy. CAT All right. [_It vanishes slowly._] [_FROG puts flamingoes down and reenters house. While ALICE is examining the flamingoes curiously, TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE, each with an arm round the other's neck, sidestep in and stand looking at ALICE._] ALICE [_Turns, sees them, starts in surprise and involuntarily whispers._] Tweedle--dee. DUM Dum! DEE If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay. DUM Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak. DEE