All quiet on the Western FrontRemarque, Erich Maria
History
All quiet on the Western Front
Remarque, Erich Maria
War stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
We sit around with our shirts on our knees, our bodies naked to the
warm air and our hands at work. Haie has a particularly fine brand
of louse: they have a red cross on their heads. He suggests that he
brought them back with him from the hospital at Thourhout, where they
attended personally on a surgeon-general. He says he means to use
the fat that slowly accumulates in the tin-lid for polishing his
boots, and roars with laughter for half an hour at his own joke.
But he hasn't much success to-day; we are too preoccupied with
another affair.
The rumour has materialized. Himmelstoss has come. He appeared
yesterday; we've already heard the well-known voice. He seems to
have overdone it with a couple of young recruits on the ploughed
field at home, and unknown to him the son of the local magistrate was
watching. That cooked his goose.
He will meet some surprises here. Tjaden has been meditating for
hours what to say to him. Haie gazes thoughtfully at his great paws
and winks at me. The thrashing was the high water mark of his life.
He tells me he often dreams of it. Kropp and Müller are amusing
themselves. From somewhere or other, probably the
pioneer-cook-house, Kropp has bagged for himself a mess-tin full of
beans. Müller squints hungrily into it but checks himself and says:
"Albert, what would you do if it were suddenly peace-time again?"
"There won't be any civil life," says Albert bluntly.
"Well, but if--" persists Müller, "what would you do?"
"Clear out of this!" growls Kropp.
"Of course. And then what?"
"Get drunk," says Albert.
"Don't talk rot, I mean seriously----"
"So do I," says Kropp, "what else should a man do?"
Kat becomes interested. He levies tribute on Kropp's tin of beans,
swallows some, then considers for a while and says: "You might get
drunk first, of course, but then you'd take the next train for home
and mother. Peace-time, man, Albert----"
He fumbles in his oil-cloth pocket-book for a photograph and suddenly
shows it all round. "My old people!" Then he puts it back and
swears: "Damned lousy war----"
"It's all very well for you to talk," I tell him. "You've a wife and
children."
"True," he nods, "and I have to see to it that they've something to
eat."
We laugh. "They won't lack for that, Kat, you'd scrounge it from
somewhere."
Müller is insatiable and gives himself no peace. He wakes Haie
Westhus out of his dream. "Haie, what would you do if it was peace
time?"
"Give you a kick in the backside for the way you talk," I say. "How
does it come about exactly?"
"How does the cow-shit come on the roof?" retorts Müller laconically,
and turns to Haie Westhus again.
It is too much for Haie. He shakes his freckled head:
"You mean when the war's over?"
"Exactly. You've said it."
"Well, there'd be women of course, eh?"--Haie licks his lips.
"Sure."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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