All quiet on the Western FrontRemarque, Erich Maria
History
All quiet on the Western Front
Remarque, Erich Maria
War stories; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
Kropp supports me: "How can a man take all that stuff seriously when
he's once been out here?"
"Still you must have an occupation of some sort," insists Müller, as
though he were Kantorek himself.
Albert cleans his nails with a knife. We are surprised at this
delicacy. But it is merely pensiveness. He puts the knife away and
continues: "That's just it. Kat and Detering and Haie will go back
to their jobs because they had them already. Himmelstoss too. But
we never had any. How will we ever get used to one after this,
here?"--he makes a gesture toward the front.
"We'll want a private income, and then we'll be able to live by
ourselves in a wood," I say, but at once feel ashamed of this absurd
idea.
"But what will really happen when we go back?" wonders Müller, and
even he is troubled.
Kropp gives a shrug. "I don't know. Let's get back first, then
we'll find out."
We are all utterly at a loss. "What could we do?" I ask.
"I don't want to do anything," replies Kropp wearily. "You'll be
dead one day, so what does it matter? I don't think we'll ever go
back."
"When I think about it, Albert," I say after a while, rolling over on
my back, "when I hear the word 'peace time,' it goes to my head; and
if it really came, I think I would do some unimaginable
thing--something, you know, that it's worth having lain here in the
muck for. But I can't even imagine anything. All I do know is that
this business about professions and studies and salaries and so
on--it makes me sick, it is and always was disgusting. I don't see
anything--I don't see anything at all, Albert."
All at once everything seems to me confused and hopeless.
Kropp feels it too. "It will go pretty hard with us all. But nobody
at home seems to worry much about it. Two years of shells and
bombs--a man won't peel that off as easy as a sock."
We agree that it's the same for everyone; not only for us here, but
everywhere, for everyone who is of our age; to some more, and to
others less. It is the common fate of our generation.
Albert expresses it: "The war has ruined us for everything."
He is right. We are not youth any longer. We don't want to take the
world by storm. We are fleeing. We fly from ourselves. From our
life. We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and
we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion,
burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving,
from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in
the war.
* *
The Orderly Room shows signs of life. Himmelstoss seems to have
stirred them up. At the head of the column trots the fat
sergeant-major. It is queer that almost all pay-sergeant-majors are
fat.
Himmelstoss follows him, thirsting for vengeance. His boots gleam in
the sun.
We get up.
"Where's Tjaden?" the sergeant puffs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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