We watch him disappear in the direction of the Orderly Room. Haie and Tjaden burst into a regular peat-digger's bellow. Haie laughs so much that he dislocates his jaw, and suddenly stands there helpless with his mouth wide open. Albert has to put it back again by giving it a blow with his fist. Kat is troubled: "If he reports you, it'll be pretty serious." "Do you think he will?" asks Tjaden. "Sure to," I say. "The least you'll get will be five days close arrest," says Kat. That doesn't worry Tjaden. "Five days clink are five days rest." "And if they send you to the Fortress?" urges the thoroughgoing Müller. "Well, for the time being the war will be over so far as I am concerned." Tjaden is a cheerful soul. There aren't any worries for him. He goes off with Haie and Leer so that they won't find him in the first flush of the excitement. * * Müller hasn't finished yet. He tackles Kropp again. "Albert, if you were really at home now, what would you do?" Kropp is contented now and more accommodating: "How many of us were there in the class exactly?" We count up: out of twenty, seven are dead, four wounded, one in a mad-house. That makes twelve privates. "Three of them are lieutenants," says Müller. "Do you think they would still let Kantorek sit on them?" We guess not: we wouldn't let ourselves be sat on for that matter. "What do you mean by the three-fold theme in 'William Tell'?" says Kropp reminiscently, and roars with laughter. "What was the purpose of the Poetic League of Göttingen?" asks Müller suddenly and earnestly. "How many children had Charles the Bald?" I interrupt gently. "You'll never make anything of your life, Bäumer," croaks Müller. "When was the Battle of Zana?" Kropp wants to know. "You lack the studious mind, Kropp, sit down, three minus----" I wink. "What offices did Lycurgus consider the most important for the state?" asks Müller, pretending to take off his pince-nez. "Does it go: 'We Germans fear God and none else in the whole world,' or 'We, the Germans, fear God and----'" I submit. "How many inhabitants has Melbourne?" asks Müller. "How do you expect to succeed in life if you don't know that?" I ask Albert hotly. Which he caps with: "What is meant by Cohesion?" We remember mighty little of all that rubbish. Anyway, it has never been the slightest use to us. At school nobody ever taught us how to light a cigarette in a storm of rain, nor how a fire could be made with wet wood--nor that it is best to stick a bayonet in the belly because there it doesn't get jammed, as it does in the ribs. Müller says thoughtfully: "What's the use. We'll have to go back and sit on the forms again." I consider that out of the question. "We might take a special exam." "That needs preparation. And if you do get through, what then? A student's life isn't any better. If you have no money, you have to work like the devil." "It's a bit better. But it's rot all the same, everything they teach you."