"Honest as the world regards honesty. But there are higher than legal
standards. What A and B may consider fair, C may regard as
questionable. He has his own standard; and if he falls below that in
his dealings with men, he departs from his integrity."
"I have nothing to say for Brantley under that view of the subject,"
said the friend. "If he has special standards of morality, and does not
live up to them, the matter is between himself and his own conscience.
We, on the outside, are not his judges."
It so happened that I met Brantley a short time afterwards. The
circumstances were favorable, and our interview unreserved. He had sold
his house, and a large part of the handsome furniture it contained, and
was living in a humbler dwelling. I referred to his changed condition,
and spoke of it with regret.
"There is no gratuitous evil," he remarked. "I have long been satisfied
on that head. If we lose on one hand, we gain on another. And my
experience in life leads me to this conclusion, that the loss is
generally in lower things, and the gain in higher."
I looked into his face, yet bearing the marks of recent trial and
suffering, and saw in it the morning dawn.
"Has it been so with you?" I asked.
"Yes; and it has always been so," he answered, without hesitation. "It
is painful to be under the surgeon's knife," he added. "We shrink back,
shivering, at the sight of his instruments. The flesh is agonized. But
when all is over, and the greedy tumor, or wasting cancer, that was
threatening life, is gone, we rejoice and are glad."
He sighed, and looked sober for a little while, as thought went back,
and memory gave too vivid a realization of what had been, and then
resumed:
"I can see now, that what seemed to me, and is still regarded by others
as a great misfortune, was the best thing that could have taken place.
I have lost, but I have gained; and the gain is greater than the loss.
It has always been so. Out of every trouble or disaster that has
befallen me in life, I have come with a deep conviction that my feet
stumbled because they were turning into paths that would lead my soul
astray. However much I may love myself and the world, however much I
may seek my own, below all and above all is the conviction that time is
fleeting, and life here but as a span, that if I compass the whole
world, and lose my own soul, I have made a fearful exchange. There are
a great many things regarded by business men as allowable. They are so
common in trade, that scarcely one man in a score questions their
morality; so common, that I have often found myself drifting into their
practice, and abandoning for a time the higher principles in whose
guidance there alone is safety. Misfortune seems to have dogged my
steps; but in this pause of my life--in this state of calmness--I can
see that misfortune is my good; for, not until my feet were turning
into ways that lead to death, did I stumble and fall."
"Are you not too hard in self-judgment?" I said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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