The shot had gone home; her enmity was gratified; she had not been
anxious to attend from the first, and therefore was not disappointed;
she did not suffer from pained sensibility; the frequency of these
encounters had inured her to ambushed attack; she was fast becoming
a match for them in stoicism, and surpassed them in satire; in this
skirmish she had borne flying colours from the field; but had the
contrary of all these things been true, she could not have been
more wretched. She hated, as spirits like hers only can hate, her
cold-hearted persecutors, and exulted in their defeat; yet close upon
triumph came a twinge of remorse and a sense of debasement.
"I am sinking to their level! I could compete with them upon no other
ground. They are despicable in their worldliness and malice; shall I
grovel and hiss with them? It seems inevitable--debarred as I am from
all associations which can elevate and clear my mind. Oh! the low envy
in that girl's face as she named my 'suitor!' Destitute of mental wants
herself, she thinks of nothing but courtship and a settlement! But
this matter must be arranged."
She opened her writing-desk. Her chamber was her retreat and sanctum,
and she had lavished much taste and time in fitting it up. All its
appurtenances spoke of genius and refinement. With a poetic love for
warm colors and striking contrasts, crimson and black relieved, each
the other, in her carpet and curtains. The bedstead, seats and tables,
fashioned into elegant and uncommon forms by her orders, were draped
and cushioned with the same Tyrian hue. Books and portfolios were
heaped and strewed upon the shelves and stands; and in one corner, upon
a wrought bronze tripod, was an exquisite statuette--a girl kneeling
beside an empty cage, the lifeless songster stark and cold in her hand.
Several of Ida's schoolmates were with her when she purchased it from
an itinerant Italian. They saw in the expression of hopeless sadness,
only regret for her bird. Ida noted that her gaze was not upon its
ruffled plumes, but to its silent home; and that one hand lay upon her
heart. Looking more narrowly she discerned upon the pedestal the simple
exclamation, "_Et mon coeur!_"
Henceforward it had become her Lares. She had scattered flowers over
it, kissed it weepingly, and with lips rigid in stern despair, laid her
hot brow to the white forehead of the voiceless mourner. She must have
something to love, and the insensate image was dear, because it told of
a grief such as hers. Now, after she dipped her pen in the standish,
she paused to contemplate it,--the red light bathing it in a life-like
glow,--and the blood receded from her face, as she uttered aloud its
touching complaint, "Et _mon_ coeur!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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