Alone on a Wide Wide Sea, Vol. 1 (of 3) — John Shaqi
Alone on a Wide Wide Sea, Vol. 1 (of 3)Russell, William Clark
General
Alone on a Wide Wide Sea, Vol. 1 (of 3)
Russell, William Clark
English fiction -- 19th century; Sea stories
At some hour of the night I fell asleep. When I awoke, the sunshine was
streaming brilliantly upon the little circular porthole. I lifted up my
head and then raised myself upon my elbows and found myself stronger. I
also felt better; the feeling that had been like approaching death was
gone and the sickness was passed. I heard the sounds of a fiddle and of
a man’s voice singing in the next cabin. I listened to the voice and
knew it to be that of the young Frenchman, Alphonse. The motion of the
vessel was comparatively quiet. She was sailing somewhat on her side,
but she rolled very lightly and the upwards and downwards movement was
trifling. I felt that I had strength enough to sit up, but the upper
shelf was too close to my head to suffer me to do so. I lay still and
tried to think, and my thoughts ran thus:
Who am I? The face that I saw in the mirror yesterday is mine, but
it begets no recollection. I do not recognise it. It is mine, yet it
is a face that I have never before seen. How, then, can it be mine?
But since that unknown face must be mine, who am I? I was found
lying insensible and wounded--and here I laid my fingers upon the
sticking-plaister upon my brow--in an open boat. She had two masts
and that is all they can tell me. How was it that I was in that boat?
When did I enter her? I have been in this ship four days. How long was
I in the boat, and from what part do I come? And then there was such a
struggle of my mind that drops of perspiration started from my brow.
I cannot express the agony that inward conflict caused me. I said to
myself, Am I mad that I do not know who I am? What has happened to
kill in me the power to recollect? What has happened to extinguish
the vision in the eyes of my mind? All is black! I remember nothing
down to the hour of my waking in this cabin; but since then everything
that has happened, everything that has been said I remember. I can
repeat the conversation of Alphonse, I can describe the appearance
of his uncle and of the man who accompanied him; yes, and I can also
describe accurately the face that I yesterday viewed in the glass
which the young Frenchman held up before me. Therefore memory is not
dead, neither can I be mad to be able to reason thus. Why then will not
memory pronounce my name and give me back my past that I may know who I
am, that I may know to what place to return? And I covered my face with
my hands and wept.
Presently my tears ceased to flow. The strains of the fiddle and the
voice of the singer were silent in the adjacent cabin. What is there to
assist me to recover my memory? I thought; and I turned my eyes upon my
figure as I lay stretched upon that sleeping-shelf, and looked at my
ringless hands; and then my gaze ran with wildness over as much as I
could see of the little cabin, but no suggestion came. My mind seemed
torpid, unable of itself to receive or to produce ideas.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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