Essays; Humorous stories, American; Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
But that was all lost. Before I was half-way through she was in a
carriage and making thirty miles an hour toward the Jones mansion to
save what was left of Willie and tell all she knew about the deadly
nurse. All of which was unnecessary, as Willie wasn't sick; I had been
lying myself. But that same day, all the same, she sent a line to the
hospital which filled up the neglected blank, and stated the facts, too,
in the squarest possible manner.
Now, you see, this lady's fault was not in lying, but only in lying
injudiciously. She should have told the truth there, and made it up to
the nurse with a fraudulent compliment further along in the paper. She
could have said, “In one respect the sick-nurse is perfection--when she
is on watch, she never snores.” Almost any little pleasant lie would
have taken the sting out of that troublesome but necessary expression of
the truth.
Lying is universal--we all do it; we all must do it. Therefore, the
wise thing is for us diligently to train ourselves to lie thoughtfully,
judiciously; to lie with a good object, and not an evil one; to lie
for others' advantage, and not our own; to lie healingly, charitably,
humanely, not cruelly, hurtfully, maliciously; to lie gracefully
and graciously, not awkwardly and clumsily; to lie firmly, frankly,
squarely, with head erect, not haltingly, tortuously, with pusillanimous
mien, as being ashamed of our high calling. Then shall we be rid of
the rank and pestilent truth that is rotting the land; then shall we be
great and good and beautiful, and worthy dwellers in a world where
even benign Nature habitually lies, except when she promises execrable
weather. Then--but I am but a new and feeble student in this gracious
art; I can not instruct this Club.
Joking aside, I think there is much need of wise examination into what
sorts of lies are best and wholesomest to be indulged, seeing we must
all lie and do all lie, and what sorts it may be best to avoid--and this
is a thing which I feel I can confidently put into the hands of this
experienced Club--a ripe body, who may be termed, in this regard, and
without undue flattery, Old Masters.
ABOUT MAGNANIMOUS-INCIDENT LITERATURE
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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