An Almond for a Parrot: Being a reply to Martin Mar-Prelate.
Religion
An Almond for a Parrot: Being a reply to Martin Mar-Prelate.
Marprelate controversy
pulpet, whosoeuer weares a vayle, is an whore without exception, and on
an other time, two women comming to be churched, whereof the one wore a
vaile, the other went without. He began his thankesgiuing in this forme:
Let vs giue God thankes for the safe deliuery of one of our sisters, for
the other let vs not giue God thankes, for she is a straunger, and we
haue nothing to doe with her, I take her to be _Dinah_ the harlot, that
sat by the high way side, for she hath a vayle ouer her face. In the next
place to him, shall he be put that railing on the Papists in his Sermon,
alledged this argument to confute their religion, Nay (saith he) you may
gather what a wicked and spotted religion this papistrie is, for Campion
himselfe that was accounted their chiefest piller, was reported to haue
had the poxe. I haue another in my tables, that handling that place of
_Iosua_ where _Rahab_ entertained his spies, would needes conclude all
Inkeepers to be harlots, because _Rahab_ the harlot was an Inkeeper. I
shall run my penne out of breath, if I articulate all the examples of
their absurdeties that I could. Haue not Trinitie Hall men in Cambridge
a preaching brother in Bury yet in sute, for saying all ciuillians were
papists. To let him passe for a patch, that being maister of none of the
meanest Colledges in Cambridge, and by the oth of his admission, bound
to take no money for preferments, made answere to one that offered him
fortie markes to make his sonne fellow: God forbid I should take any
money for it is against my oth, but if you will giue me it in plate, Ile
pleasure him in what I may. This is the dreamer if you be aduised, that
is indebted aboue two thousand houres to the Vn[iu]ersitie, which he hath
borrowed by three and foure at a time vpon seuerall sundayes preaching
as it came to his course: it is a shame for him, that he doth not pay
them, professing such puritie as he doth. _Martin_, thou seest I come
not abruptly to thee like a rednosde ieaster, that in the pride of his
pottle-pots curries ouer a reuelling riffe raffe of Tapsterly tauntes,
and course hempen quippes, such as our brokerly wits doe filsh out of
Bull the Hangmans budget, but I speake plaine English, and call thee a
knaue in thine owne language. All the generation of you are Hipocrites
and belli-gods, that deuoure as much good meat in one of your brotherly
loue meetings, as would wel-nye victuall the Queenes ships a whole
moneth. It is a shame for you to exclame so against Cardes, and play
thus vnreasonably at Maw as you do. Gaffe _Martin_, doe you remember
whom you vpbraided by Primero? well let not me take you at Noddy anie
more, least I present you to the parish for a gamster, this the ninth
set that you haue lost, and yet you will not leaue off. Beware _Anthony
Munday_ be not euen with you for calling him Iudas, and lay open your
false carding to the stage of all mens scorne. I maruell _Pasquill_ comes
not away with his legends, considering that the date of his promise is
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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