Experiments -- Fiction; High school teachers -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
The pot of pansies disappeared, giving way to Honey LaRue. The
snare-drums swished and chattered, and Honey, who'd rid herself of a
good deal more than her gloves, winked knowingly at Miss MacIntire.
Spotting Stetzel, Honey propelled her pelvis several centimeters
in a horizontal direction, a movement known to the trade as the
"bump." The Latin teacher uttered an unclassical yelp of outraged
modesty and averted her head. Stetzel grew pink to his ear-tips. This
extra-galactic polymorph had no tact at all! Honey disappeared with a
regretful shrug, and the lascivious drum-rolls ceased.
"This sort of thing could become dangerous," Mr. Tedder commented.
"What can we do with it?" Mr. Coar asked. "It wouldn't do to put a cage
around it. It can't move any more than a ... geranium plant can. And
what will we feed it?"
"Pimento-loaf," the physics instructor suggested.
"Think of the value this thing can have!" Stetzel enthused.
"Psychiatrists can see the morbid mind-images of their disturbed
patients, the paranoics and the like, and devise techniques of cure."
"By studying the metabolism of this polymorph, we can deduce the
physical conditions of the world it came from," Mr. Formeller
observed, a glint of the hunter-instinct in his eyes.
"We might even ask it questions about the world it came from!" Guenther
said. "Maybe it would show its real form to us, and talk or think to
us. It's already shown a lot of initiative, you know."
Miss MacIntire, who'd recovered from the shock of Honey LaRue, spoke
up. "We've got an eel by the tail, as it said. We can't handle it,
and we can't let it go. We'll have to call in experts in zoology and
physics...." Mr. Formeller exchanged outraged glances with Mr. Tedder
"... and have them study the polymorph with the best instruments
available."
"All this is very well," Mr. Formeller said, "but what I'd like to know
is how this Polymorph got into your classroom, Tedder."
Mr. Tedder cautiously stepped up to the demonstration bench and took
the knob of the telegraph key in his fingers. "This was the switch in a
Ziegler's effect apparatus I'd set up for demonstration. I just tapped
it, like this...." Mr. Tedder slapped the key down.
There was a glare of sudden greenness, and the air popped like a broken
vacuum tube as it rushed in to occupy space suddenly vacated.
The Extra-Galactic Polymorph was gone. Mr. Coar wrinkled his brow
and thought furiously of geranium-plants-in-pots, to no avail. Miss
MacIntire thought wistfully of the handsome Greek gentleman who'd
addressed her with an obscure quotation. Mr. Tedder, Stetzel, and
Guenther bent their combined brains to steady consideration of Miss
Honey LaRue, and for a moment they thought they heard the lustful
bellow of a supernal saxophone. But Honey stayed away.
"If we'd only taken photographs!" Mr. Formeller wailed. "Maybe the
things we saw, we saw only in our minds. The polymorph's real form
would have registered on film."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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