An essay on the government of children, under three general heads, viz. health, manners, and educationNelson, James
History
An essay on the government of children, under three general heads, viz. health, manners, and education
Nelson, James
Child rearing -- England -- History -- 18th century
of observing the Biass they take; and of moulding their tender Minds,
that the first Dawn of Reason may be cherished and improved in them.
Parents should give their Children an early and an ardent Love of Truth;
in order to this, it is not sufficient that they give them Precepts,
they must add Example too. There is no Vice more dangerous, none more
odious, than a Habit of lying; and yet none more common. But what is
stranger still, Parents themselves are often the Persons who teach it
them. It is very far from being my Design to charge Parents with an
Intention of leading Children into this capital Error; but that they do
it either thro’ want of Thought, or want of Judgment, is evident. First,
they grossly mistake their Children’s Capacity; and from a Notion that
they know nothing, say a thousand improper things in their hearing:
then, when they find themselves observed, are obliged to use many Shifts
and Turns to get rid of their Curiosity and Importunity. The next Cause
is, that Parents do not make Duty their Children’s Rule of Conduct. A
Child sees something in it’s Father’s Hand, and asks, What is that? The
Father answers, Nothing. But why make so absurd a Reply? Will not the
Child in Return act the same Part? _Jacky_, what have you got in your
Hand? Nothing. A Child sees it’s Mother put Money, Fruit, or any thing
else in her Pocket, and asks for it; immediately she replies she has
none: the Child taking the Conviction of it’s Senses, cries for what it
has seen; and the Mother, after repeated Denials, has no other Way of
pacifying it, than the giving what it cries for; and thus prove she has
been maintaining a Falsehood. I was once in Company with a Lady, who with
a sort of half Whisper, said her poor little Girl had Worms, and she must
give her some Physic; Miss immediately cries out, What, you are talking
of me now: No, no, Child, says Mamma: I know you are, replies Miss; I
heard you talk of Physic, but I’ll not take any I am resolved: No, my
Dear, repeats Mamma, I’m not talking about you; I’m talking of somebody
that is in a Consumption. Surely such Behaviour reflects greatly on the
Understanding or Conduct of Parents. Children should be told their Duty
without Disguise; and it is certain they may often be won to it by soft
and gentle Means; but Falsehoods, Prevarications, and puzzling the Truth,
can never be the Way to lead them to it. Parents then, besides animating
their Children to a Love of Truth by daily Advice, must themselves
carefully avoid all obscure ambiguous Language in their hearing; all
Signs, Nods, and Winks, which can answer no other End than perplexing
their Understandings, or raising in them a restless painful Curiosity.
Sir _Roger L’Estrange_ tells a Story that pleases me for it’s thorough
Honesty. “A Man met an Acquaintance in the Street: What, my Friend, says
he, have you got under your Coat? Why, replies the other, what I have
under my Coat, I put there on purpose that you might not know.” Thus
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