April Fools' Day -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Love stories
On the side of the road an overgrown boy of eighteen hopped wildly
on one foot, the other stretched at right angles in front of him,
while his lank red wrists beat the air like the arms of a windmill.
These apparently purposeless evolutions he performed mechanically
so long as his ungainly figure filled their vision, and the
maniac appearance of the yokel rasped Antony's over-strained nerves
unendurably.
"If that is a fair sample of Huntersville youth, it would be a real
blessing to the community to murder a few," he muttered
malevolently, as they dashed, at what seemed to him a terribly
accelerated pace, into the little town. A large sign-board sprang
up suddenly, as it seemed, and faced them.
_Village limits. Slow down to six miles an hour_ (it read) _by
order of Commissioners. Offenders Will be_----
But Antony, though desirous of reading further, even at the cost of
a halt, was unable to do so.
It was high noon and the main artery of travel could not have
assumed a condition more favourable to an unwilling excursionist.
Save for a group of children, which scattered to safety at
the steady warning of the horn, and a laggard team of greys,
whose languid progress from the middle of the road to their
legitimate anchorage at the side cost their master his hind wheel,
only a pompous speckled hen disputed their right of way. To his
companion's shriek of horror--"The hen! The hen, Mr. Tony!"--Antony
replied only, through set teeth, "This is no time to think of hens--
blow that horn!" and drove like Attila the implacable over whatever
of domesticity and motherhood that obstinate fowl may have
represented. One more heap of empty barrels making a treacherous
curve, one more angry woman, leaping into a puddle to protect her
wide-eyed urchin, one heart-stifling ne'er-do-weel lurching at the
last possible quarter-second with drunken luck, out of
destruction's way, and it was over: Antony, firmly convinced
that his hair must be snowy white, suffered the pent-up breath to
escape at last from his lungs, only to catch it desperately again
as a burly man, whose ostentatiously drawn-back coat displayed a
gleaming metal badge, stood deliberately before them, not a hundred
feet away, and waved his hand with unmistakable meaning. In this
hand fluttered a bit of yellow paper which recalled irresistible
memories of the telegraph office; the other grasped a large nickel
watch that winked derisively in the sunlight.
"Stop!" he bellowed majestically, and balanced upon his bow legs.
On one side stretched a hastily constructed barrier of old boards
and flimsy crates through which the blue sky line gleamed in bright
bars; on the other a heavy waggon rested at an evidently
intentional slant.
"Blow, blow!" gasped Antony, and, "Get out of the way, you fool!"
he cried with ineffective hoarseness, grinding his teeth as it
became apparent that the creature meant to brazen it through.
"Look out! We can't stop! Oh, please go away!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account