April Fools' Day -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Love stories
His sincere and serious manner had its effect and she answered
simply, "Anything that you think is best, of course. But could we
not experiment a little, and try to stop it? It cannot be anything
very complicated, since it has to be done so often."
"No, no, no!" Antony cried nervously, "not while I'm in my right
mind! It may seem foolish to you," he continued more stiffly, "but
I have reached my limit of experiment. I--I know nothing of any
kind of machinery--I loathe it. As soon as I began anything of that
sort, my nerve would go. You remember the result when you stamped
on that brass knob? Well, I admit that I am not equal to a
repetition, to be quite frank."
"I thought men always understood machinery," she murmured
impatiently. "All the men I know are quite clever at it."
Now, curiously enough, this pettish and really inexcusable
fling did not produce its presumable effect upon Antony. Whether he
felt that it was partly justified and that he was really in some
sort unworthy of his sex, or whether the actuality of their
pressing danger rendered him immune as regards such flighty stabs,
is not known, but it remains a fact that he merely pursed his lips
indulgently and spoke as follows:
"You are indeed fortunate in your acquaintance. I regret that
practice in steering horses, sail boats, bob sleds and to a certain
small extent, dirigible balloons, has left me little leisure--and
less inclination--for these evil-smelling devil-waggons. Neither
the steamfitter nor the engineer has ever appealed to me----"
He ceased abruptly, and as his voice died out she looked
questioningly at him, for even her slight acquaintance with the
young gentleman had taught her that he was not one to leave a
well-planned sentence incomplete from choice.
"What is it?" she asked breathlessly.
"That wild road is on the other side of Huntersville!" he said,
with an utter absence of comment that impressed her more deeply
than any of his previous conversational embroideries.
Indeed, the pointed spire of the Huntersville church rose white
before them and scattered houses even now lined the road.
"I wish we were going uphill now," Antony began, "and I should
advise you to jump. I don't believe you'd make such a mess of it as
a great many girls would be likely to. Of course, you might have on
the last hill, but I hated the idea of it. It may be steering will
do. But if it's a question of running someone down, you'll have to,
of course, and I'll turn sharp about and take my chance. Or aim at
tree. Now, blow the horn hard, please, and when I say jump, go the
way the car is going, and clear it well. You may sprain your ankle
or get a bruise or two, but that won't kill you. It's a small sort
of place, and we might get through. Don't stop the horn a moment.
What's that idiot doing?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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