A Gallician, being at the war of Granada, received a wound in the head with an arrow. The surgeon arriving, said, upon examination, You are a dead man, the arrow has pierced your brain. The Gallician said, Look again, for that is impossible. The surgeon replied, It is so; I see it plain. _It cannot be_, said the Gallician: _for if I had any brain, I should not have been here_. * * * * * A man went to borrow an ass of a neighbour, who said the ass was from home. Meanwhile the animal chanced to bray: upon which the borrower exclaimed, How! did you not tell me the ass was abroad? The other replied, in a passion, _Will you prefer the ass’s word to mine?_ * * * * * A passenger going to Peru, a great storm arose; and the master of the vessel ordered, that the most burdensome articles that every one had should be thrown into the sea, to lighten the vessel. Upon which this passenger ran and brought up his wife, saying, _That she was the most burdensome article he had_. * * * * * A squire being asked, why he had married a deaf wife? said, _In hopes she was also dumb_. * * * * * The German nation made small pretence to wit or humor. What we have of their early efforts is either gross or stupid. A few specimens taken from their mediæval Jest collections will quickly prove this. * * * * * A malicious woman often beat her husband; being reproved for it, and told that her husband was her head, she answered, _May not I beat my own head as I please?_ * * * * * Some Dutchmen conversing in a bookseller’s shop at Leyden, an unknown German came in, upon which one of them exclaimed, “Why is Saul among the prophets?” The German retorted: _He is seeking his father’s asses_. * * * * * A very ignorant priest saying mass, saw on the margin of his book, _Salta per tria_ (skip three); meaning that he should find the rest of the office three leaves further on; upon which he leaped three steps forwards from the altar. The clowns about him, thinking he had suddenly gone mad, took and bound him, and carried him home. * * * * * One being asked, what made him bald? said, _My hair_. * * * * * A lady asking that celebrated general, prince Maurice, who was the first captain of the age? he answered, _The marquis of Spinola is the second_. He thereby gave to understand, that he knew himself to be the first; but did not chuse either to say so, or tell a falsehood. * * * * *