He amused himself with this little axiom and passed a whole week in
delight, grouping around this harmless epigram the crowd of ideas which
came to him unconsciously and which he was astonished to find that he
possessed. His humorous mood yielded at last to the claims of serious
investigation. Willing as he was to take a hint, the author returned to
his habitual idleness. Nevertheless, this slight germ of science and of
joke grew to perfection, unfostered, in the fields of thought. Each
phase of the work which had been condemned by others took root and
gathered strength, surviving like the slight branch of a tree which,
flung upon the sand by a winter’s storm, finds itself covered at
morning with white and fantastic icicles, produced by the caprices of
nightly frosts. So the sketch lived on and became the starting point of
myriad branching moralizations. It was like a polypus which multiplies
itself by generation. The feelings of youth, the observations which a
favorable opportunity led him to make, were verified in the most
trifling events of his after life. Soon this mass of ideas became
harmonized, took life, seemed, as it were, to become a living
individual and moved in the midst of those domains of fancy, where the
soul loves to give full rein to its wild creations. Amid all the
distractions of the world and of life, the author always heard a voice
ringing in his ears and mockingly revealing the secrets of things at
the very moment he was watching a woman as she danced, smiled, or
talked. Just as Mephistopheles pointed out to Faust in that terrific
assemblage at the Brocken, faces full of frightful augury, so the
author was conscious in the midst of the ball of a demon who would
strike him on the shoulder with a familiar air and say to him: “Do you
notice that enchanting smile? It is a grin of hatred.” And then the
demon would strut about like one of the captains in the old comedies of
Hardy. He would twitch the folds of a lace mantle and endeavor to make
new the fretted tinsel and spangles of its former glory. And then like
Rabelais he would burst into loud and unrestrainable laughter, and
would trace on the street-wall a word which might serve as a pendant to
the “Drink!” which was the only oracle obtainable from the heavenly
bottle. This literary Trilby would often appear seated on piles of
books, and with hooked fingers would point out with a grin of malice
two yellow volumes whose title dazzled the eyes. Then when he saw he
had attracted the author’s attention he spelt out, in a voice alluring
as the tones of an harmonica, _Physiology of Marriage_! But, almost
always he appeared at night during my dreams, gentle as some fairy
guardian; he tried by words of sweetness to subdue the soul which he
would appropriate to himself. While he attracted, he also scoffed at
me; supple as a woman’s mind, cruel as a tiger, his friendliness was
more formidable than his hatred, for he never yielded a caress without
also inflicting a wound.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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