The climax was reached, however, when a young enthusiast, seeing the excellent score one of the competitors was making, astonished the spectators by shouting at the top of his voice: “Go on, father; get another bull’s-eye!” NO ABBREVIATIONS WANTED A corporal in the Liverpool Scottish tells a good story of “the front.” The sentry’s challenge is no longer the orthodox “Halt! Who goes there?” It is a short, prosaic, “Who are you?” The other day a tired sentry challenged a party of the Princess Patricia’s Own Canadian Light Infantry. Back came the response, “P.P.O.C.L.I.” “I don’t want to hear you say your alphabet,” growled the sentry. “Who the blazes are you?” HIS SACRIFICE “George, where are your school-books!” “When notices appeared that books were wanted for the wounded, I gave mine to them.”—Humoristicke Listy (Prague). UNSATISFACTORY OFFICER They were about the rawest lot of recruits the sergeant had ever tackled. He worked hard for a couple of hours, and at last, thinking he had them licked into shape, he decided to test them. “Right turn!” he barked; then, before they had ceased to move, barked again, “Left turn!” One burly yokel slowly left the ranks and made off towards the barracks. “Here, you!” yelled the sergeant, angrily, “where are you off to?” “Ah’ve had enough on’t,” replied the recruit, in disgusted tones. “Tha dissent knaw thee arn mind two minutes stright running.” PERPETUAL MOTION “Excuse me, but do you mind keeping your dog indoors at night till the war is over?” “Why?” said the surprised dog-owner to the stranger. “Well, your dog’s barking sounds just like a ‘special’ boy shouting in the distance. My wife’s got two brothers at the front, and every time she hears your dog she sends me racing down to get the ‘special,’ and says I’ve been too stupid to catch the boy.” MURDERING HIM Very British Guest—“What! Brahms? You’re surely not going to sing German?” Hostess (apologetically)—“Well, of course, I shall take care to sing it flat.” SLACKER GETS BACK Frederick Palmer, the war correspondent, was talking about England. “Everything is war, war, war, over there,” he said. “Dear help the young man who is not in khaki. He has a dreadful time. “Now and then, though, one of these slackers—as they are called—gets a bit of his own back. “A slacker, for example, was passing a prison camp near London when an interned German shouted at him from the barbed wire fence: “‘Hey, Kitchener vants you!’ “The slacker frowned. ‘What?’ he said. “‘Kitchener vants you,’ the German repeated. “‘Well, by Jove,’ said the slacker, ‘he’s got you, all right!’” NEW CAUSE FOR WAR Robert Skinner, ex-consul-general to London, said at a dinner: “Of course neutrals see things from one viewpoint and belligerents from another. We all have our various viewpoints. “An English inebriate was recently released from jail. To a friend who met him outside the prison gates he said: “‘Well, mate, wot noose?’