In a moment he went on: “You must not think that I am merely jealous. I
have no hopes. If Joe had never existed, you would not have cared for
me. Remember too, that I’ve known him for ten years. This is not
something that has sprung into my mind since I learned that you. . . .
You _must_ believe that I am honest! I love you! If it was anybody else
but him. . . . I haven’t seen Joe but about half a dozen times in my
life. From the first he has represented to me the principle of evil;
that which destroys us! I have seen how he debauches everyone with whom
he comes in contact. He calls to the evil in the natures of others. He
goes on unharmed because he feels nothing. The thought that he might
obtain a hold on you, a permanent hold. . . . Oh God! it won’t bear
speaking of! It is too horrible. . . .”
He jumped up as if he were about to run out of the place.
“Steady!” whispered Elaine. “People are looking. . . .”
He dropped into his chair; his startled eyes darting around.
After a silence, she said sullenly: “This is just emotional stuff.” She
turned her cheek on her palm, half averting her face from him. “. . .
Anyhow, I’m not engaged to him.”
“I know the nature of the spell he exerts over you,” Wilfred went on
more calmly. “I have seen it working; I have felt it myself in a
different way. It is horrible and irresistible—yes, and delicious, too.
Delicious! I say this, because I must force you to see that I
understand. I don’t blame you for feeling it. . . . You think that I’m
something less than a man—Oh, well, never mind about me! . . . But I
want you to know that I never put you on any silly pedestal. I love you
because you’re warm and human, and of the same flesh as me. I don’t
blame you. . . .”
“Thanks!” drawled Elaine. Her eyes were hidden from him.
“. . . I don’t see how you’re going to resist it. A pure and passionate
woman! But marriage. . . . Oh, God! . . .”
“What’s the alternative?” she murmured.
“Give yourself to him,” said Wilfred quickly.
Elaine jerked her head up, staring at him in pure amazement.
“That startles you?” he asked somberly.
“Not the suggestion,” she said. “I’m no bread and butter miss. But that
it should come from you . . . !”
“Oh, leave me out of it! Look on me as a sort of disembodied
voice. . . . It would be better than marriage, wouldn’t it?”
No answer from Elaine.
“This thing is strong only when you oppose it. Give in to it, and you’ll
discover its insignificance. . . .”
Elaine looked at him startled; then closely hid her eyes again.
“. . . Bad morality, but good commonsense,” said Wilfred with a jangling
laugh.
Elaine said in her casual voice: “They say that infatuation grows on
what it feeds upon.”
“I don’t mean for a night,” he said bluntly. “Go away with him. Stay
with him as long as you want. He could not take anything from you that
mattered, if you were not bound. . . .”
She gave no sign.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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