Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
But it was time to be thinking seriously of Pio Nono. With a sigh of
disgusted weariness, Gumbril looked at his papers. What had Falarope
Major to say of the Pontiff? “Pius IX was called Ferretti. He was a
liberal before he was a Pope. A kindly man of less than average
intelligence, he thought that all difficulties could be settled by a
little goodwill, a few reforms and a political amnesty. He wrote several
encyclicals and a syllabus.” Gumbril admired the phrase about less than
average intelligence; Falarope Major should have at least one mark for
having learnt it so well by heart. He turned to the next paper. Higgs
was of opinion that “Pius the Ninth was a good but stupid man, who
thought he could settle the Risorgimento with a few reforms and a
political armistice.” Beddoes was severer. “Pius IX was a bad man, who
said that he was infallible, which showed he had a less than average
intelligence.” Sopwith Minor shared the general opinion about Pio’s
intelligence, and displayed a great familiarity with the wrong dates.
Clegg-Weller was voluminous and informative. “Pius IX was not so clever
as his prime minister, Cardinal Antonelli. When he came to the tiara he
was a liberal, and Metternich said he had never reckoned on a liberal
pope. He then became a conservative. He was kindly, but not intelligent,
and he thought Garibaldi and Cavour would be content with a few reforms
and an amnesty.” At the top of Garstang’s paper was written: “I have had
measles all the holidays, so have been unable to read more than the
first thirty pages of the book. Pope Pius IX does not come into these
pages, of the contents of which I will proceed to give the following
précis.” And the précis duly followed. Gumbril would have liked to give
him full marks. But the business-like answer of Appleyard called him
back to a better sense of his duty. “Pius IX became Pope in 1846 and
died in 1878. He was a kindly man, but his intelligence was below
the....”
Gumbril laid the paper down and shut his eyes. No, this was really
impossible. Definitely, it couldn’t go on, it could not go on. There
were thirteen weeks in the summer term, there would be thirteen in the
autumn and eleven or twelve in the spring; and then another summer of
thirteen, and so it would go on for ever. For ever. It wouldn’t do. He
would go away and live uncomfortably on his three hundred. Or, no, he
would go away and he would make money—that was more like it—money on a
large scale, easily; he would be free and he would live. For the first
time, he would live. Behind his closed eyes, he saw himself living.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account