Apologia DiffidentisDalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Philosophy
Apologia Diffidentis
Dalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Bashfulness
In the Roman world things were changed; there were more closed doors and
courts impenetrable of access. Insignia of office, gradations of wealth
and rank, sundered those of high estate from classes which now
acknowledged their own inferiority; privacies, exclusions, distinctions
innumerable, altered the face of public life as the easy _mos majorum_
was confined by the ordinances of encroaching fashion. It was now that
women began to be cast for leading parts upon the great stage of life.
Under the Empire, by the rapid removal of her disabilities the Roman
matron achieved a position of independence which made her, according to
her nature, a potent force of good or evil. It was now that the
intricate threads of social prescription were woven into that ceremonial
mantle which was afterwards to sit so uneasily on the shoulders of
barbarian men.
But the time for shyness was not yet come, for Italy is a sunny land
where clear air makes clear minds, blandly or keenly observant of the
world, and never impelled by onset of outer mists and darkness to tend a
flickering light within themselves. There was melancholy, high and
stately, such as Lucretius knew, when he went lonely among the
homesteads or along the shore; but it was too exalted to be one with
diffidence, for he who will hold the sum of things in his thoughts walks
on clouds above the heads of men, free of all misgiving. Perhaps beyond
the Alps, in some Rhaetian upland where Roman dignity was interfused with
old barbaric roughness, the first signs of our malady were perceived and
the first ancestor of all the shy was born. But even yet the time was
not ripe, nor the place prepared. Christianity had to come, turning
men's eyes inwards and proclaiming the error of the objective pagan way.
A new feeling, the sense of personal unworthiness before God, spreading
through the Roman world, now stirred mankind to still communing with
themselves, and sanctioned the stealing away from the noisy festivals of
life. By enjoining a search into the depths of the heart, it encouraged
the growth of a self-consciousness hitherto unknown. It was not always a
panic of contrition, sweeping the joyous out of the sunlight into a
monastic shade, which brought the troubled into a new way of peace, but
sometimes a quiet joy in renunciation, congruous with a timid mood,
leading by gradual allurement to cloisters of shadowy lanes and cells
which were forest bowers. The new faith gave open sanction to evasion of
the banquet, and thus fortified and increased those who loved not the
ceremonial day. The spirit of solitude, no more a maenad, but a nun,
sheltered earth's children in the folds of her robe, and no man said her
nay.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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