Apologia DiffidentisDalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Philosophy
Apologia Diffidentis
Dalton, O. M. (Ormonde Maddock)
Bashfulness
Amid these surroundings, so peaceful and so new, my soul was stilled to
that {galene} or ocean-calm which the old Greek philosopher found the
highest good for man. And month by month the mere material side of life
grew of less moment; the body fretted the spirit less, but often seemed
a tissue of gossamer lightness through which it could pass at will, as
the breeze through the gleaming spider-webs upon the bushes at dawn.
There were times when the ideal of the mystic seemed well-nigh
accomplished, when my body might almost have been abandoned by the soul
for hours upon end. The words of Emerson seemed to be fulfilled: "By
being assimilated to the original soul by whom and after whom all things
subsist, the soul of man does then easily flow into all things and all
things flow into it: they mix; and he is present and sympathetic with
their structure and law."
As I write now amid the roar of London traffic, I well believe that to
men who have never bathed in eastern moonlight, the description will
sound hyperbolical and false. But when I think of those old days, how
serene they were, how apart, I let the words stand: I am not artist
enough to give them a more plausible simplicity. All conditions that a
recluse might crave seemed now to be fulfilled for my benefit. The
virgin forests and great hills were a perpetual joy, but there was a
tranquil pleasure in the plantation which man's labour had reclaimed
from these. That was a meet place indeed for the meditation of a quiet
hour, and no more grateful refuge can be conceived than such a shady
grove at the height of noon. You must not fancy an expanse of dusty land
lined with prim rows of plants in the formal style of a nursery garden;
but, spread over the lower slopes of the valleys, spacious woods of
clean, grey-stemmed trees, with overarching branches thinned to cast a
diaphanous shade over the sea of lustrous dark leaves below. The shrubs
stood waist-high in serried, commingling ranks, their dark burnished
leaves gleaming here and there in the sifted rays that found their way
down through the vaults of foliage; the groves of Daphne had no more
perfect sheen.
I learned to feel for this gracious place a love only second to that of
the wilder jungle; for nature thus tamed to work side by side with man
loses indeed her austerer charm, but not her calm and dignity: these she
brings with her always to be a glory to the humblest associate of her
labour. Often as I pruned a tree, or stripped its stem of suckers, I
felt the soothing, quickening influence of this partnership, and my
thoughts turned to others who had known a like satisfaction and relief;
to Obermann forgetting his melancholy in the toil of the vintage,
plucking the ripe clusters and wheeling them away as if he had never
known the malady of thought; or to Edward Fitzgerald out with the dawn
among his roses at Little Grange.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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