A steward came up the deck, carrying rugs and a book for the woman who
had occupied the chair next to Ariel’s during the two days’ voyage. Two
children with their nurse trailed behind. Ariel’s glance barely touched
the group and returned to New York’s terraced, dream-world sky line. But
she was glad that these people had come up on deck and would be near her
during the little while left of ship life. It did not matter that they
would remain unaware of her until the very end. It was more interesting,
being interested in them, than having them interested in her. And there
was no reason on earth why they should be interested in her. It never
entered Ariel’s head that there was.
Joan Nevin, the woman, was tall, copper haired and eyelashed, and
graceful with a lithe, body-conscious kind of gracefulness, of fashion,
perhaps, more than of nature. Her sleek fur coat, her high-heeled,
elegant pumps—even the close dark hat, flaring back from her copper
eyebrows—these seemed to motivate her gait and her postures. She was,
perhaps, more pliable to them than they to her. But Ariel did not mind
this, although she realized it. It was wonderful, in its way,
fascinating by strangeness.
To tell the truth, Mrs. Nevin interested her more at the moment than the
unknown, beautiful harbor at which she appeared to be gazing. And no
aching longing for her father’s sharing of this interest could turn it
dreamlike, for her father could never share it, alive or dead.
Fashionable women, even at a distance, bored him. But how did a woman
like that feel, Ariel wondered, about her so finished and catered-to
beauty, and her easy self-sufficiency? And how did it feel to have two
burnished, curled children that were one’s very own, to love, to live
for, to play with? How wonderful if Ariel herself had had children of
her own to play with and dance with on their beach, while her father was
alive and she could still have gloried in them, before the sense of
unreality had settled like a thin dust over unshared happiness!
The Nevins and the nurse had come the length of the deck now, and were
standing near her, but not taking their chairs, and oddly silent. Still,
she would not look directly at them to discover the reason. If she
looked into their faces she might become visible to them. So far, these
two past days, Ariel had kept herself wrapped in a cloud of
invisibility, she felt, merely by not meeting other eyes. She was shy of
contacts, ever since her father’s death; and the aching, hurting
suspense at the back of her mind, which was caused by dread of the near
approaching meeting with her father’s friend, had only intensified her
desire for invisibility.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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