Whether it was anger or passion that uttered the demand Joan didn’t
know. Perhaps it was merely her old insatiable desire to keep Hugh’s
desire from weakening. Perhaps sometime—perhaps even quite soon—she
would know and understand herself. That was her hope. For she was in the
very middle of being psychoanalyzed. Her doctor had been on the Riviera
and in Bermuda, stopping at hotels conveniently near to her own,
combining work with vacation the past few months. Her sudden and
unexpected return had occurred only because another patient with whom he
had supposedly finished treatment had backslid and sent him an urgent _S
O S_ from New York. Thereupon, Doctor Steiner had persuaded Mrs. Nevin
that the time had come for her to meet her problems face to face, with
no further evasion. And Hugh was the chief of these problems.
The question was: Was she in love with Hugh Weyman enough to marry him?
Doctor Steiner had undertaken to help her discover the answer to this
question by means of a minute and indefatigable research into her
nightly dreams. This process necessitated a two-hour daily séance with
himself,—the two hours being sacredly dedicated to an intimate hashing
over of Joan’s emotional life and history.
Hugh, so far, knew nothing of this. But his mother had known from the
beginning and been interested and sympathetic. Soon now, in all
probability, Joan would decide to talk about it with Hugh himself. For
while she had been able to hold him in a state of uncertainty and
loyalty during the years since her husband had died, her excuses for
indecision were beginning to wear too thin, even to herself. Besides,
Hugh had not written to her once during her entire absence this winter,
in spite of her having sent him two or three very interesting and even
affectionate letters. That he was trying to gain his emotional
independence was evident to her even without Doctor Steiner’s
elucidations. His pride was becoming too deeply involved.
When she took him into her confidence about this business of being
psychoanalyzed she would have to explain how Doctor Steiner had
discovered that she, Joan, was so complicated an individual, so highly
organized emotionally as well as physically, that things were not nearly
so simple and straight for her as for more ordinary and perhaps
fortunate persons,—people like Hugh himself, for instance, who knew so
definitely what he wanted, and had no agonizing conflicts between his
impulses and his actions. When her analysis was completed, she would
tell him, but not till then, she might be able to give herself to a
husband in the whole-hearted and elemental way which Hugh’s type would
demand in a wife. And she might not. The final word really must rest on
Doctor Steiner’s findings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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