* * * * *
Win regarded him without affection. "Who the hell are you, and what the
hell do you mean by that crack?"
"Your secret is known, harridan," said Jim. He stared into her wide
eyes. "Alan says you can't feel pain. That makes you one of the enemy
in our book. If it weren't for your perfection of form, I myself
would take pleasure in booting you in the left nostril." He let his
gaze wander over her well-stocked amethyst halter. "Alan," he said
critically, "far be it from ol' Mac to question your judgment, but I
doubt this lassie's inhumanity. I really feel we've made another error.
If she isn't human, then I'm a rhinoceros."
"You look more like a starving stork," Win cried furiously. "Alan, who
is this wretch?"
"Peace, gal, I'm standing up for you, no matter what it sounds like.
Doc, you can't convince me that a gal with a balcony that'd grace the
Palace Theatre isn't human. I think you're wrong."
"Of course she's good looking. She's a step above us in the
evolutionary scale, isn't she?" snarled Alan. "Or else she's from some
goddam planet out in the other galaxies." Win looked at him blankly.
"I think you've jumped to a conclusion when you should have crawled to
it." McEldownie took a step forward and caught Win's eyes with his own.
"I believe you can feel pain," he said.
"Good Lord, of course I can feel--ouch!" She gave a little scream. The
announcer had pinched her sharply on the naked flesh just below her
halter. Because she had been looking into his eyes, she could not have
seen the casual motion of his hand.
"There!" said Jim, standing back and bowing with a juggler's flourish.
"What about that, gentlemen?"
Brave spoke. "Win, he's drunk, so don't hold it against him. But
he's done you--and us--a great service." Raising his voice above her
passionate cursing, he went on. "You know our mutant theory. It's been
changed today but the pain angle still holds good to a degree. Well,
Alan burnt you accidentally with his Rocketeer cigarette last night,
and you didn't feel it; so we have been thinking that you must be one
of them. Evidently you're not. You have our apologies all round."
She stood silent, taking it in; then she said, "Great heavens above!"
and turned on Alan, who was looking sheepish and incredibly relieved.
"You grunt-brain! Don't you, with all your knowledge, realize that
there are times in a woman's life--yes, and in a man's--when she or he
can be burned, whipped, and kicked in the funny bone, without realizing
it?"
Alan made a gesture of incomprehension.
"You moron, what were we doing when you burned me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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