My heart beat high with hope and love. Hélène never appeared so
beautiful. Her ordinary expression of sweetness and tenderness had given
place to a proud and melancholy look, which gave to her features an
expression of superiority. I saw grandeur and noble self-esteem in the
determination she had shown in thus braving my offensive suspicions,
being conscious all the time of her own innocence. So I allowed myself
to form all kinds of smiling plans for the future. I was almost pleased
by the coolness with which Hélène continued to treat me, because I
took it as a sign of a generous nature which suffers all the more keenly
because of its more exquisite sensibility.
The cruel indecision which had so alarmed me when thinking of my future
had changed into a serene and peaceful certitude. All was radiant on the
horizon. It was to be a life such as I had dreamed of and already begun
to experience at Serval; a calm and contented existence; and then every
victory I should win over Hélène's sad resentment would be a delight.
I thought, with inexpressible joy, that I would have to begin all over
again to gain Hélène's love. With what pleasure I contemplated the
means I would take to heal that sad wound! I felt in myself such a
wealth of tenderness, of devotion, and of love that I felt certain of
bringing back to that adorable face its old look of confiding and
ingenuous goodness, of fixing for ever on those charming lips their
ineffable smile of other days, in place of the serious disdain which
they now expressed. I hoped to see that stern and scornful look soften
little by little,--from scornful become severe, then sad, then
melancholy--kindly--tender--and finally to read in its smiling azure
this blessed word, Pardon!
Everything delighted me, even to the most trifling details of the
preparations for our union; I was as interested in them all as a child.
As I did not wish to be separated from Hélène, I had written to a
friend of my mother, a woman of the most perfect taste, to send me from
Paris everything she could think of that was elegant, select, and
splendid for the wedding _corbeille_ of Hélène.
I remember how all these presents were brought by my intendant from
Serval, in two of my carriages. I had made a great show of this ceremony
of presentation. The two carriages, the servants, and the horses were
all gaily decorated, and went at a respectful walk to the door of
Hélène's house, to the great admiration of the townsfolk.
When all these marvels of taste and sumptuousness were spread out in my
aunt's salon, and Hélène came in, my heart beat with joy and
excitement as I watched to see her look of surprise at the sight of such
beautiful presents.
The look was indifferent, absent-minded, even ironical.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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