"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
First Voice. “Oh, _diamonds_ to be sure” (with an emphasis on
diamonds). “You don’t s’pose such a little swell as that would
wear paste. See! there’s a pearl and diamond ring. Just fits me,
I do declare,” added she, trying it on.
Second Voice. “What beautiful carbuncle pins!”
First Voice. “Oh. what studs!”
Second Voice. “Oh. what chains!”
First Voice. “Oh, what pins!”
Second Voice. “Oh, what a love of a ring!” And so the ladies
continued, turning the articles hastily over. “Oh, how happy he
_must_ be,” sighed a languishing voice, as the inspection
proceeded.
“See! here’s his little silver shaving box,” observed the first
speaker, opening it.
“Wonder what _he_ wants with a shaving box,—got no more beard
than I have,” replied the other, taking up Billy’s badger-hair
shaving-brush, and applying it to her own pretty chin.
“Oh! smell what delicious perfume!” now exclaimed the discoverer
of the shaving-box. “Essence of Rondeletia, I do believe! No,
extrait de millefleurs,” added she, scenting her ‘kerchief with
some.
Then there was a hurried, frightened “_hush!_” followed by a
“Take care that ugly man of his doesn’t come.”
“Did you ever _see_ such a monster!” ejaculated the other
earnestly.
“Kept his horrid eyes fixed upon me the whole dinner,” observed
the first speaker.
“Frights they are,” rejoined the other.
“He must keep him for a foil,” suggested the first.
“Let’s go, or we’ll be caught!” replied the alarmist; and
forthwith the rustling of silks was resumed, the candles hurried
past, and the ladies tripped softly out of the room, leaving the
door ajar, with Jack under the bed to digest their compliments at
his leisure.
* * * *
But Monsieur was too many for them. Miss had dropped her glove at
the foot of the bed, which Jack found on emerging from his hiding
place, and waiting until he had the whole party reassembled at
tea, he walked majestically into the middle of the drawing-room
with it extended on a plated tray, his “horrid eyes” combining
all the venom of a Frenchman with the _hauteur_ of an Englishman,
and inquired, in a loud and audible voice, “Please, has any lady
or shentleman lost its glo-o-ve?”
“Yes, I have!” replied Miss, hastily, who had been wondering
where she had dropped it.
“Indeed, marm,” replied Monsieur, bowing and presenting it to her
on the tray, adding, in a still louder voice, “I found it in
Monsieur Pringle’s bed-room.” And Jack’s flashing eye saw by the
brightly colouring girls which were the offenders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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