"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
“Well then,” said Sir Moses, drawing breath for the grand effort,
“there was only one thing to be considered—one leetle difficulty
to be overcome—but one, which after the experience he had had of
their gameness and liberality, he was sure they would easily
surmount.”—(A murmur of “O-O-O’s,” with Hookey Walkers, and
fingers to the nose, gradually following the speaker.)
“That _leetle_ difficulty, he need hardly say, was their old
familiar friend £ s. d.! who required occasionally to be looked
in the face.”—(Ironical laughter, with _sotto voce_ exclamations
from Jack to Tom and from Sam to Harry, of—) “I say! _three_ days
are _quite_ enough—_quite_ enough. Don’t you think so?” With
answers of “Plenty! plenty!” mingled with whispers of, “I say,
this is what he calls hunting the country for nothing!”
“Well, gentlemen,” continued Sir Moses, tapping the table with
his presidential hammer, to assert his monopoly of noise, “Well,
gentlemen, as I said before, I have no doubt we can overcome any
difficulty in the matter of money—what’s the use of money if it’s
not to enjoy ourselves, and what enjoyment is there equal to
fox-hunting? (applause). None! none!” exclaimed Sir Moses with
emphasis.
“Well then, gentlemen, what I was going to say was this: It
occurred to me this morning as I was shaving myself——”
“That you would shave us,” muttered Mr. Paul Straddler to Hicks,
the flying hatter, neither of whom ever subscribed.
“—It occurred to me this morning, as I was shaving myself, that
for a very little additional outlay—say four hundred a year—and
what’s four hundred a-year among so many of us? we might have
four days a-week, which is a great deal better than three in many
respects, inasmuch as you have two distinct lots of hounds,
accustomed to hunt together, instead of a jumble for one day, and
both men and horses are in steadier and more regular work; and as
to foxes, I needn’t say we have plenty of them, and that they
will be all the better for a little more exercise.—(Applause from
Sir Moses’ men, Mr. Smoothley and others). Well, then, say four
hundred a-year, or, as hay and corn are dear and likely to
continue so, suppose we put it at the worst, and call it
five—five hundred—what’s five hundred a-year to a great
prosperous agricultural and commercial country like this?
Nothing! A positive bagatelle! I’d be ashamed to have it known at
the ‘Corner’ that we had ever haggled about such a sum.”
“You pay it, then,” muttered Mr. Straddler.
“Catch him doing that,” growled Hicks.
Sir Moses here took another sip of sherry, and thus resumed:—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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