"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In EnglandSurtees, Robert Smith
General
"Ask Mamma"; or, The Richest Commoner In England
Surtees, Robert Smith
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Fox hunting -- Fiction
“_Ask away, then!_” exclaimed Billy, helping himself to another
beaker of brandy—for he saw he was approaching the
“Ketch-’em-alive O.” Miss then put the home-question whether his
family knew what he was about, and finding they did not, she saw
there was no time to lose; so knocking off the expletives, she
talked of many considerations and points, the main one being to
know how she was likely to be kept,—whether she was to have a
full-sized footman, or an under-sized stripling, or a buttony boy
of a page, or be waited upon by that greatest aversion to all
female minds, one of her own sex. Not that she had the slightest
idea of saying “No,” but her experience of life teaching her that
all early grandeur may be mastered by footmen, she could very
soon calculate what sort of a set down she was likely to have by
knowing the style of her attendant. “Show me your footman, and I
will tell you what you are,” was one of her maxims. Moreover, it
is well for all young ladies to have a sort of rough estimate, at
all events, of what they are likely to have,—which, we will
venture to say, unlike estimates in general, will fall very far
short of the reality. Our friend Billy, however, was quite in the
promising mood, and if she had asked for half-a-dozen Big Bens he
would have promised her them, canes, powder, and all.
“Oh! she should have anything, everything she wanted! A tall man
with good legs, and all right about the mouth,—an Arab horse, an
Erard harp, a royal pianoforte, a silver tea-urn, a gold
coffee-pot, a service of gold—_eat gold_, if she liked,” and as
he declared she might eat gold if she liked, he dropped upon his
salmon-coloured knees, and with his glass of brandy in one hand,
and hers in the other, looked imploringly up at her, a beautiful
specimen of heavy sentimentality; and Miss, thinking she had got
him far enough, and seeing it was nearly twelve o’clock, now
urged him to rise, and allow her maid to go and get him a coach.
Saying which, she disengaged her hand, and slipping through the
invisible door, was presently whispering her behests to the
giggling Pheasant-feathers, on the other side of the folding
ones. A good half-hour, however, elapsed before one of those
drowsy vehicles could be found, during which time our suitor
obtained the fair lady’s consent to allow him to meet her at her
friend Mrs. Freemantle’s, as she called her, in Cowslip Street,
May Fair, at three o’clock in the following afternoon; and the
coach having at length arrived, Miss Willing graciously allowed
Mr. Pringle to kiss her hand, and then accompanied him to the
second landing of the staircase, which commanded the hall, in
order to check any communication between Pheasant-feathers and
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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