body up by one hand on to the bench beside her. Its other hand grasped
firmly a sheaf of fresh grass. It was clean and pretty, and something in
its baby face sent a pang to Audrey's heart. She loosened its chubby
fingers, hoping it would toddle away; but it gave a wilful chuckle, and
stood still, staring at her, reproaching, accusing, in the unconscious
cruelty of its innocence. And yet surely the Divine Charity had chosen
the tenderest and most delicate means of stirring into life her unborn
conscience. Moved by who knows what better impulse, she stooped suddenly
down and touched its face with the tips of her gloved fingers. Startled
at the strange caress, like some animal stroked too lightly, the little
thing made its face swell, and asserted its humanity by a howl. Then it
fled from her with a passionate waddle, scattering blades of grass
behind it as it went.
Even so do we chase away from us the ministers of grace.
She leaned back, overcome by a sort of moral exhaustion. Her self-love
was hurt, as it would have been if a dog had shrunk from her advances;
for Audrey was not accustomed to have her favours rejected. She was
further irritated by the ostentatious affection of the child's mother as
she helped it through the railings with shrill cries of "There then,
blessums! Did she then, the naughty lydy!" And when baby echoed "Naughty
lydy!" it was as if the two-year-old had judged her.
She sat a little while longer, and then went away. As she rose she
looked sadly back at the family group. The man was lying on his back and
letting the children walk about on the top of him. Baby had found peace
in sucking an orange and stamping on her father's waist. The woman was
strewing paper bags and orange-peel around her in a fine disorder, while
she thriftily packed the remains of their meal in a basket. Audrey
shuddered; their arrangements were all so ugly and unpleasant. And
yet--they were married, they were respectable, they were happy, these
terrible people; while she--she was miserable. She had no sense of
justice; and she rebelled against the policy of Nature, who leaves her
coarser children free, and levies her taxes on the aristocracy of
feeling.
The sordid domesticity of the scene had glorified by contrast her own
dramatic mood. Poor Audrey! She hated vulgarity, and yet she was trying
to lay hold on "the great things of life" through the vulgarest of all
life's tragedies.
* * * * *
Langley would be in town again in a week. He would ask if she had made
up her mind; and she knew now too well the answer she would give him.
But Langley was not in town again in a week, nor yet in a fortnight. And
when, at the end of six weeks, he did come back, he came back
married--to Miss Alison Fraser.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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