Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
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Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
Perhaps our happiest times, however, were those spent with Nature during
my father’s annual fortnight’s holiday, when we would usually procure
lodgings at some such salubrious resort as Clacton-on-Sea or
Cliftonville near Margate. Here we would abandon ourselves to the
contemplation of the waves, and here, under my father’s skilful tuition,
I became quite an adept at an entrancing pursuit less well known, I
think, than it should be.
Consisting in the first place of the selection of a flat-shaped
stone—itself often a gleeful and difficult task—it then becomes the
object of the participators in the game to propel this seawards across
the surface of the ocean. Being heavier than water, it would naturally
be supposed that at the first impact with the latter the stone would
sink; and indeed, if projected by an unskilled player, this is what
usually eventuates. As I was happy to demonstrate, however, to our
Sunday School mistresses only last year at Southend, in the hands of a
careful and experienced performer this is by no means necessarily the
case. Supporting the stone, with its flatter surface downwards, on the
flexed middle finger of the thrower’s hand, his (or her) forefinger
should lie along its circumference, the thumb gently resting on its
superior surface. It should then be so cast as to travel horizontally,
its flat surface parallel to the surface of the water, with the
surprising result that, when at last it drops, it bounces into the air
again and proceeds onwards. Nay, it may even, in the hands of the most
expert, repeat this process two or three times, to the intense and
delighted fascination of those who have been privileged to witness him.
Not lacking in the element of competition, yet devoid of all possibility
of personal danger, affording healthful exercise, but at the same time
immune from the perils of over-exertion, it has always seemed strange to
me that, up to the present, it has played so small a part in our
national life. An island community, here if anywhere is a diversion that
should surely appeal to us; and I for one should rejoice to see the day
when, instead of the football ground and the tennis pitch, our coasts
should be thronged with eager young men and women enjoying this hygienic
and innocent pastime.
Nor did we confine ourselves, while at the sea-side, merely to
terrestrial amusement, and we would frequently indulge, for perhaps a
quarter of an hour, in the enjoyable practice of pedal immersion. Wholly
precluded, of course, for constitutional reasons, from the fuller
development of this art involved in swimming, we nevertheless found this
to be a most laughable and even exciting occupation; and I can recall at
least two occasions when, owing to a momentary inadversion, our
rolled-up trousers became partially submerged. A smart run home,
however, a cup of hot milk, and immediate retirement to bed sufficed, in
both instances, to protect us from any untoward results.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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