Breakfast finds us calm but grave. My 144 mother is allowed to accompany us to church. My father’s clothing and general demeanour. Remarks of Simeon Whey on my father’s hat. First impressions of the new lectern. Unmistakable evidences of guilt. The vicar’s feeble apologia. A devilish device and its disastrous results. I race with Corkran for half-a-crown. My poor father is three times dropped CHAPTER XIII Description of the injuries sustained by 158 my father. A supremely difficult medical problem. Legal assistance of Mr. Balfour Whey. Infamous decisions and public comments. A quiet church and obliging clergy. Surprising character-growth of Ezekiel. A distasteful proposition generously put forward. Disgusting behaviour of a show-room manager CHAPTER XIV Person and character of Mr. Archibald 170 Maidstone. Irreverent attitude towards the firm’s publications. Would-be laxity of two constables. Their tardy performance of an obvious duty. Deplorable condition of my Sunday trousers. Their effect on Miss Botterill and Mr. Chrysostom Lorton. The arrival and influence of the Reverend Eugene Cake. Mr. Maidstone is dismissed and I succeed him. Complete discomfiture of his three elder children CHAPTER XV Happy years. A typical day. Simeon Whey 185 is at last ordained. His first sermon at St. Sepulchre’s, Balham. Intensive campaign of the _A.D.S.U._ I meet Miss Moonbeam and call her Mary. Affecting appeal not to leave her in darkness. I promise not to do so. A face to lean on. Will I come again? Adventure on the stage of the Empresses Theatre CHAPTER XVI Disappointing attitude of Ezekiel. 204 Suggested nuptials of Miss Moonbeam. An occasion for tact and postponement. I am obliged to write a letter. Ezekiel accompanies me to the Empresses Theatre. We are a little taken back by the numbers to be rescued. An apparently delightful beverage. I address Miss Moonbeam’s friends on the subject of temperance. Ezekiel addresses them on the evils of the drama. We arrange a meeting. Description of meeting CHAPTER XVII