Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good ManBashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
General
Augustus Carp, Esq., by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man
Bashford, H. H. (Henry Howarth), Sir
English fiction -- 20th century; Humorous stories; Satire
“Oh, it is,” said my father. “It is. Do you remember those beautiful
words of David’s, ‘the righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the
vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked’?”
“Not only do I remember them,” I said, “but had you not quoted them, I
should certainly have done so myself.”
“We’ll wash them to-night,” said my father. “Put on your cap. No, it
would perhaps be better to wear your bowler,” and five minutes later we
were standing once more on the front-door step of Hopkinson House.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER VIII
Second interview with Mr. Septimus Lorton. But now the tables are
turned. A pitiful exhibition. My father demands guarantees. He will
write a letter to Mrs. Chrysostom Lorton. My father’s ordeal. When
it was dark.
SAVE that it became the means so strangely selected for my early
entrance into Xtian commerce, I do not propose to linger over the
comparatively brief but effective interview that ensued. At first
refused admission, the words Greenwich Park sent as a message by the
servant sufficed to bring Mr. Lorton hastily but reluctantly and
unaccompanied to the front door. From there he conveyed us to one of the
smaller and more distant schoolrooms, and it soon became obvious, in
spite of his tentative denials, and even more despicable evasions, that
my father and myself were the complete masters of the situation. It was
true, of course, that he tried to temporize with the pathetic bravado of
the exposed sinner.
“But even if it were the case,” he said, “which I am not prepared to
admit, that I was in Greenwich Park with Mrs. Chrysostom, do you suppose
that, were I to deny it, my brother would believe you for a moment?”
Fulfilled as he was with a Xtian indignation, my father was unable to
suppress a smile.
“I imagine that at least,” he said, “he would be interested in my son’s
knowledge that she was supposed to be shopping in Kensington.”
Mr. Septimus Lorton protruded the tip of his tongue in a vain endeavour
to moisten his lips.
“And he would also be interested,” I said, “to meet the lame
newspaper-seller from whom she obtained change for ten shillings.”
My father nodded.
“That cannot often happen,” he said, “and my son tells me that the man
picked up one of her gloves.”
“Yes,” I said, “and followed her into the station with it, where she
gave him a sixpence, and he called her a pretty lady.”
My father looked thoughtfully at the tips of his fingers.
“From which I infer,” he said, “that he could probably identify her.”
Mr. Lorton passed one of his hands over the pale green surface of his
cheek.
“But, my dear sir,” he said, “my dear sir, even suppose, I say, that
without—er—prejudice, Mrs. Chrysostom had so far honoured me as to
accompany me for a walk in the park you mention, surely that is not
necessarily an indiscreet act in view of the fact that I am her
husband’s brother.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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