Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath
the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only
conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas' box was much too small for him.
Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the
compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man, no doubt with the feeling
that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole
congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers--the first
of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head
and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed
decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He looked
like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his head like a
baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as he could,
and then, with his long, lean arms dangling over the side of his box,
he might have been a suit of “blacks” hung up to dry. Once I was talking
with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all at once a
light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was laughing at, and
he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again when I asked him what
there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and admitted that he could not
tell me. However, I have always been of opinion that the thought of the
precentor in his box gave Cree a fleeting sense of humor.
Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, Hendry
being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they had in
common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, shoemaker
being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also his
workshop. There he sat in his “brot,” or apron, from early morning to
far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings a
week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his “cruizey”
lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of “ay, ay, yes,
umpha, oh ay, ay man,” came as regularly and monotonously as the tick
of his “wag-at-the-wa'” clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum
for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a
collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the
only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. He
was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the minister
looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that Hendry once
offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets Lang Tammas
was more stern and dreaded by evil-doers, but Hendry had first place
in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister from the
session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having shut
Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange minister
preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. This will not
be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on these occasions
a fling to with his feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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