Conduct of life -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
"Oh," she said, "don't take it so! Don't think of it _that_ way. It
would break Jean's heart.... She loved you so! ... And she knew you
did n't know how sick she was. Any wife would know that--if her
husband loved her, and if she loved him. And you did love her. And
she knew you did. She used to tell me how sure she was of your true
love--and how precious it was to her, and how much she ... cared for
you."
Helen's voice faltered on these last three words; she pronounced them
with infinite tenderness; it was the pathos of woman pleading for
womanhood, or love defending love.
"And she would n't want you to be tortured so--_now_. Oh, she would be
the first of us all to forgive you for any mistake you made, or any
wrong you did. She would understand just how it all came about, better
than any of us can--better than you do yourself. Jean always
understood. She wanted nothing, nothing in this world, but for you to
be happy. She was so grieved because she was sick, and could not go
about with you, and make it as cheerful for you at home as she used to
do. She used to tell me--oh, she used to tell me so many things about
how she felt, and every feeling she ever had was purer and tenderer and
truer than the feeling of any other woman that I ever knew! She was
the noblest woman--the loveliest, ... and she loved _you_.... Why, she
could n't bear it--she could n't _bear_ it, dead up there as she is, if
we let you suffer like this, and did not try ... if I did not try to
comfort you."
Helen's own tears broke her choking words. But the heart-break of the
man's sobs came now at last; and they had such a sound that the doctor
covered his eyes, and stood with bowed head, as if he had been the
culprit, not the judge, before the awful courts of human error,
remorse, and love, in which no man may doom his fellow, since God's
verdict awaits.
"Come, Mr. Avery," said Helen. She stooped and picked up the
tea-roses, which had fallen and were scattered on the floor, put them
into his cold hand--and then drew away. "She 'd rather you would go up
alone," said Helen Thorne.
He passed out through the open door. His two friends fell back. The
children could be heard in the dining-room: Molly was trying to keep
them quiet there. It seemed to him as if he waded through hot-house
flowers, the air was so thick with their repugnant scent. He crawled
upstairs, steadying himself by the banister. The hall below looked
small and dark, like a pit. His head swam, and it occurred to him that
if he fell he would fall to a great depth. He clung to the wretched
tea-roses that he had brought her. He remembered that this was the
last thing he could ever do for her.
Outside the door of her room he stopped. His lips stirred. He found
himself repeating the old, commonplace words wrung from the despair of
mourners since grief was young in the story of the world:--
"It is all over. This is the end."
"No," said a distinct voice near him, "it is not the end."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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