And thus he detained me there hour after hour, until five minutes past one P.M., when he recollected, with many professions of chagrin, that he had an appointment to take his tiffin, and dismissed me, inviting me cordially to come again. If, however, it is expected of me that I can devote three hours and a half to ceremonial civilities, I must respectfully answer with a _Nolo episcopari_, for my time is more precious than rubies, and so I will beg not only Mr MELLADEW, Esq., Barrister-at-law, but all other Anglo-Saxon friends and their families, to accept this as a _verbum sap._ and wink to a blind horse. II _Some account of Mr Jabberjee's experiences at the Westminster Play._ Being forearmed by editorial beneficence with ticket of admission to theatrical entertainment by adolescent students at Westminster College, I presented myself at the scene of acting in a state of liveliest and frolicsome anticipation on a certain Wednesday evening in the month of December last, about 7.20 P.M. At the summit of the stairs I was received by a posse of polite and stalwart striplings in white kids, who, after abstracting large circular orifice from my credentials, ordered me to ascend to a lofty gallery, where, on arriving, I found every chair pre-occupied, and moreover was restricted to a prospect of the backs of numerous juvenile heads, while expected to remain the livelong evening on the tiptoe of expectation and Shank's mare! This for a while I endured submissively from native timidity and retirement, until my bosom boiled over at the sense of "_Civis Romanus sum_," and, descending to the barrier, I harangued the wicket-keeper with great length and fervid eloquence, informing him that I was graduate of high-class Native University after passing most tedious and difficult exams with fugitive colours and that it was injurious and deleterious to my "_mens sana in corpore sano_" to remain on legs for some hours beholding what I practically found to be invisible. But, though he turned an indulgent ear to my quandary, he professed his inability to help me over my "_pons asinorum_," until I ventured to play the ticklish card and inform him that I was a distinguished representative of Hon'ble _Punch_, who was paternally anxious for me to be awarded a seat on the lap of luxury. Then he unbended, and admitted me to the body of the auditorium, where I was conducted to a coign of vantage in near proximity to members of the fair sex and galaxy of beauty.