I chose, in the first place, to see myself decently buried, to stay by
myself to the last, and attend my own funeral for once. As most of those
referred to in this true narrative are still living, I am forbidden to
indulge in personalities, nor shall I dare to say exactly how my death
affected my friends, even the home circle. Whatever others did, I sat
up with myself and kept awake. I saw the "pennies" used instead of the
"quarters" which I should have preferred. I saw myself "laid out," a
phrase that has come to have such a slang meaning that I smile as I
write it. When the body was put into the coffin, I took my place on the
lid.
I cannot recall all the details, and they are commonplace besides. The
funeral took place at the church. We all rode thither in carriages,
and I, not fancying my place in mine, rode on the outside with the
undertaker, whom I found to be a good deal more jolly than he looked to
be. The coffin was placed in front of the pulpit when we arrived. I
took my station on the pulpit cushion, from which elevation I had an
admirable view of all the ceremonies, and could hear the sermon.
How distinctly I remember the services. I think I could even at this
distance write out the sermon. The tune sung was of--the usual country
selection,--Mount Vernon. I recall the text. I was rather flattered
by the tribute paid to me, and my future was spoken of gravely and as
kindly as possible,--indeed, with remarkable charity, considering that
the minister was not aware of my presence. I used to beat him at chess,
and I thought, even then, of the last game; for, however solemn the
occasion might be to others, it was not so to me. With what interest
I watched my kinsfolks, and neighbors as they filed past for the last
look! I saw, and I remember, who pulled a long face for the occasion
and who exhibited genuine sadness. I learned with the most dreadful
certainty what people really thought of me. It was a revelation never
forgotten.
Several particular acquaintances of mine were talking on the steps as we
passed out.
"Well, old Starr's gone up. Sudden, was n't it? He was a first-rate
fellow."
"Yes, queer about some things; but he had some mighty good streaks,"
said another. And so they ran on.
Streaks! So that is the reputation one gets during twenty years of life
in this world. Streaks!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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