Balaam and His Master, and Other Sketches and Stories — John Shaqi
Balaam and His Master, and Other Sketches and StoriesHarris, Joel Chandler
General
Balaam and His Master, and Other Sketches and Stories
Harris, Joel Chandler
Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“No,” said he; “Spurlock is not sick. He is a sounder man than I am. He
was conscripted in Jasper and carried to Adairsville, and after he got
used to the camp he concluded that he would come home and tell his folks
good-by.”
“Now that’s jes like Israel,” said Uncle Billy, closing his eyes and
compressing his lips—“jes like him for the world. He knowed that he was
drug off right spang at the time he wanted to be getherin’ in his craps,
an’ savin’ his ruffage, an’ one thing an’ another bekaze his ole mammy
didn’t have a soul to help her but ’im. I reckon he’s been a-housin’
his corn an’ sich like. The ole ’oman tuck on might’ly when Israel was
snatched into the army.”
“How far is it to shelter?” inquired Captain Moseley.
“Not so mighty fur,” responded Uncle Billy, whittling the pine bark more
cautiously. “Jes keep in the middle of the road an’ you’ll soon come to
it. Ef I ain’t thar before you, jes holler for Aunt Crissy an’ tell her
that you saw Uncle Billy some’r’s in the woods an’ he told you to wait
for ’im.”
With that, Captain Moseley and Private Chadwick spurred their horses up
the mountain road, leaving Uncle Billy whittling.
“Well, dang my buttons!” exclaimed Chadwick, when they were out of
hearing.
“What now?” asked the captain, turning in his saddle. Private Chadwick
had stopped his horse and was looking back down the mountain as if he
expected to be pursued.
“I wish I may die,” he went on, giving his horse the rein, “if we ain’t
walked right square into it with our eyes wide open.”
“Into what?” asked the captain, curtly.
“Into trouble,” said Chadwick. “Oh,” he exclaimed, looking at his
companion seriously, “you may grin behind your beard, but you just wait
till the fun begins—all the grins you can muster will be mighty dry
grins. Why, Cap., I could read that old chap as if he was a newspaper.
Whilst he was a-watchin’ you I was a-watchin’ him, an’ if he ain’t got a
war map printed on his face I ain’t never saw none in the ‘Charleston
Mercury.’”
“The old man is a preacher,” said Captain Moseley in a tone that seemed
to dispose of the matter.
“Well, the Lord help us!” exclaimed Chadwick. “In about the wuss whippin’
I ever got was from a young feller that was preachin’ an’ courtin’ in my
neighborhood. I sorter sassed him about a gal he was flyin’ around, an’
he upped an’ frailed me out, an’ got the gal to boot. Don’t tell me about
no preachers. Why, that chap flew at me like a Stonefence rooster, an’ he
fluttered twice to my once.”
“And have you been running from preachers ever since?” dryly inquired the
captain.
“Not as you may say, constantly a-runnin’,” replied Chadwick; “yit I
ain’t been a-flingin’ no sass at ’em; an’ my reason tells me for to give
’em the whole wedth of the big road when I meet ’em.”
“Well,” said the captain, “what will you do about this preacher?”
“A man in a corner,” responded Chadwick, “is obleeged to do the best he
kin. I’ll jest keep my eye on him, an’ the fust motion he makes, I’ll”—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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