Called sharply to account, he would lie down once more and fall
asleep. But no sooner was he asleep than he would begin to dream,
during which he would execute the movements of running with all
his four feet stretched out, at the same time giving vent to a
clear yet subdued ventriloquistic barking which sounded as if it
came from another world. That this had a disturbing and distracting
effect upon me need surprise no one, for, first of all, it was
eerie, and then it stirred and burdened my conscience. This
dream-life was all too clearly an artificial substitute for the
real chase, the real hunt, and was prepared for him by his nature,
because in his common life with me, the happiness of unrestrained
movement in the open did not devolve upon him in that measure which
his blood and his instincts demanded. This came home to me very
strongly, but as it was not to be altered, it was necessary that
my moral disquietude should be dispelled by an appeal to other and
higher interests. This led me to affirm that he brought a great
deal of mud into the room during bad weather, and moreover, that
he tore the carpets with his claws. Hence, as a matter of principle,
he was forbidden to remain in the house or to bear me company as
long as I chanced to be in the house—even though occasional
exceptions were made. He understood this law at once and submitted
to the unnatural prohibition, since it was precisely this which
expressed in itself the inscrutable will of the master and lord of
the house.
For this remoteness from me, which often continues, especially in
the winter, for the greater part of the day, is merely a matter of
being away—no actual separation or lack of connection. He is no
longer with me—by my orders—but then that is merely the carrying-out
of an order, after all a kind of negative being-with-me, as he
would say. As for any independent life which Bashan might lead
without me during these hours—that is not to be thought of. Through
the glass door of my study I see him disporting in a clumsy,
uncle-like manner with the children on the small patch of grass in
front of the house. But constantly he comes running up to the door,
and as he cannot see me through the muslin curtain which stretches
across the pane, he sniffs at the crack between door and jamb so
as to assure himself of my presence, and then sits down on the
steps with his back turned towards the room, mounting guard. From
my writing-table I can also see him moving at a thoughtful trot
between the old aspens on the elevated highway yonder. But such
promenades are merely a tepid pastime devoid of pride, joy, and
life. And it would be unutterably unthinkable that Bashan should
take to devoting himself to the glorious pleasures of the chase
upon his own account, even though no one would hinder him from
doing this, and my presence, as will be shown later, would not be
particularly favourable towards such an objective.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account