Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
“You’ll do nothing of the sort. It wouldn’t be respectful either to your
great-aunt’s memory or to the lunch. We begin with Spanish olives, then
a borshch, then more olives and a bird of some kind, and a rather
enticing Rhenish wine, not at all expensive as wines go in this country,
but still quite laudable in its way. Now there’s absolutely nothing in
that menu that harmonises in the least with the subject of your
great-aunt Adelaide or her funeral. She was a charming woman, and quite
as intelligent as she had any need to be, but somehow she always reminded
me of an English cook’s idea of a Madras curry.”
“She used to say you were frivolous,” said Egbert. Something in his tone
suggested that he rather endorsed the verdict.
“I believe I once considerably scandalised her by declaring that clear
soup was a more important factor in life than a clear conscience. She
had very little sense of proportion. By the way, she made you her
principal heir, didn’t she?”
“Yes,” said Egbert, “and executor as well. It’s in that connection that
I particularly want to speak to you.”
“Business is not my strong point at any time,” said Sir Lulworth, “and
certainly not when we’re on the immediate threshold of lunch.”
“It isn’t exactly business,” explained Egbert, as he followed his uncle
into the dining-room.
“It’s something rather serious. Very serious.”
“Then we can’t possibly speak about it now,” said Sir Lulworth; “no one
could talk seriously during a borshch. A beautifully constructed
borshch, such as you are going to experience presently, ought not only to
banish conversation but almost to annihilate thought. Later on, when we
arrive at the second stage of olives, I shall be quite ready to discuss
that new book on Borrow, or, if you prefer it, the present situation in
the Grand Duchy of Luxemburg. But I absolutely decline to talk anything
approaching business till we have finished with the bird.”
For the greater part of the meal Egbert sat in an abstracted silence, the
silence of a man whose mind is focussed on one topic. When the coffee
stage had been reached he launched himself suddenly athwart his uncle’s
reminiscences of the Court of Luxemburg.
“I think I told you that great-aunt Adelaide had made me her executor.
There wasn’t very much to be done in the way of legal matters, but I had
to go through her papers.”
“That would be a fairly heavy task in itself. I should imagine there
were reams of family letters.”
“Stacks of them, and most of them highly uninteresting. There was one
packet, however, which I thought might repay a careful perusal. It was a
bundle of correspondence from her brother Peter.”
“The Canon of tragic memory,” said Lulworth.
“Exactly, of tragic memory, as you say; a tragedy that has never been
fathomed.”
“Probably the simplest explanation was the correct one,” said Sir
Lulworth; “he slipped on the stone staircase and fractured his skull in
falling.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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