Humorous stories; Short stories, English; Supernatural -- Fiction
“The important witness to the genuineness of your story has turned up,”
said Gortsby, holding out the cake of soap; “it must have slid out of
your overcoat pocket when you sat down on the seat. I saw it on the
ground after you left. You must excuse my disbelief, but appearances
were really rather against you, and now, as I appealed to the testimony
of the soap I think I ought to abide by its verdict. If the loan of a
sovereign is any good to you—”
The young man hastily removed all doubt on the subject by pocketing the
coin.
“Here is my card with my address,” continued Gortsby; “any day this week
will do for returning the money, and here is the soap—don’t lose it again
it’s been a good friend to you.”
“Lucky thing your finding it,” said the youth, and then, with a catch in
his voice, he blurted out a word or two of thanks and fled headlong in
the direction of Knightsbridge.
“Poor boy, he as nearly as possible broke down,” said Gortsby to himself.
“I don’t wonder either; the relief from his quandary must have been
acute. It’s a lesson to me not to be too clever in judging by
circumstances.”
As Gortsby retraced his steps past the seat where the little drama had
taken place he saw an elderly gentleman poking and peering beneath it and
on all sides of it, and recognised his earlier fellow occupant.
“Have you lost anything, sir?” he asked.
“Yes, sir, a cake of soap.”
A TOUCH OF REALISM
“I hope you’ve come full of suggestions for Christmas,” said Lady Blonze
to her latest arrived guest; “the old-fashioned Christmas and the
up-to-date Christmas are both so played out. I want to have something
really original this year.”
“I was staying with the Mathesons last month,” said Blanche Boveal
eagerly, “and we had such a good idea. Every one in the house-party had
to be a character and behave consistently all the time, and at the end of
the visit one had to guess what every one’s character was. The one who
was voted to have acted his or her character best got a prize.”
“It sounds amusing,” said Lady Blonze.
“I was St. Francis of Assisi,” continued Blanche; “we hadn’t got to keep
to our right sexes. I kept getting up in the middle of a meal, and
throwing out food to the birds; you see, the chief thing that one
remembers of St. Francis is that he was fond of the birds. Every one was
so stupid about it, and thought that I was the old man who feeds the
sparrows in the Tuileries Gardens. Then Colonel Pentley was the Jolly
Miller on the banks of Dee.”
“How on earth did he do that?” asked Bertie van Tahn.
“‘He laughed and sang from morn till night,’” explained Blanche.
“How dreadful for the rest of you,” said Bertie; “and anyway he wasn’t on
the banks of Dee.”
“One had to imagine that,” said Blanche.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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