England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Farms -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction
“I’d think shame o’ myself to give a visitor owt else.” There was a
stress in her voice that made him turn his head, but she was going
away from him into the scullery and he could not see her face. Her
last words, however, were flung back with the crisp cheerfulness to
which he was used. “I’ll be getting they scones buttered while you’re
off.... Now don’t be mooning about and miss your time!”
She disappeared through the open door, and he was left to his vigil
over the marsh. His mind, released from the tie of another in the
room, began slowly and toilsomely to go back over old events. Once he
sighed sharply, as if oppressed, but it was simply with extraordinary
relief. He knew now, from his sudden sense of mental ease, how he
had worried and fretted about the old dad. It was as if something
he had ignored had been tugging at his coat, and now he could look
behind him without fear of what he might see. He was free, or thought
himself free, of that troubling episode at his back ... yet wondered
ever so vaguely why there should still be a sore place at his heart.
It was not as if he regretted anything he had done, or that he would
not have been ready to do that particular thing again. There had been
only one way for him, and he had taken it, and if it had happened
a thousand times he would have taken it still, but nevertheless
it had left him with a latent fear of life, a darkening sense of
indebtedness to fate. Even now, with the whole business right at
last, and the road clear as the stars before his feet, he suffered
a faint oppression of the mind. He supposed he would always have a
bitter memory of the breaking up of the old home. Even an outsider
must have felt it to some extent, an outsider who had had nothing
to do with the cause. The old man had taken it so hard and yet with
scarcely a word, so painfully like a hurt but yielding child; and
he himself had done nothing but stand by, because just at that time
he had not been able to help.... When he came to that word “able,”
it somehow stuck in his throat.... Anyhow, able or no, he had not
helped, that was sure; and so the old man and the home had had to
go....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account