Beth Norvell: A Romance of the WestParrish, Randall
General
Beth Norvell: A Romance of the West
Parrish, Randall
Western stories; Women pioneers -- Fiction
daily association with them must necessarily mean to one of my early
training and familiarity with quieter social customs. But my position
in the troupe afforded me certain privileges of isolation, while my
necessities compelled me to persevere. As a result, the dormant
art-spirit within apparently came to life; ambition began to usurp the
place of indifference; I became more and more disgusted with
mediocrity, and began an earnest struggle toward higher achievements.
I had little to guide me other than my own natural instincts, yet I
persevered. I insisted on living my own life while off the stage, and,
to kill unhappy thought, I devoted all my spare moments to hard study.
Almost to my surprise, the very effort brought with it happiness. I
began to forget the past and its crudities, to blot out the present
with its dull, unpleasant realities, and to live for the future. My
ideals, at first but vague dreams, took form and substance. I
determined to succeed, to master my art, to develop whatever of talent
I might possess to its highest possibility, to become an actress worthy
of the name. This developing ideal has already made me a new woman--it
has given me something to live for, to strive toward."
She came to a sudden pause, perceiving in the frank gray eyes scanning
her animated face a look which caused her own to droop. Then her lips
set in firmer resolution, and she continued as though in utter
indifference to his presence.
"You may not comprehend all this, but I do. It was the turning-point
in my life. And I began right where I was. I endeavored to make the
utmost possible out of that miserable melodramatic part which had been
assigned to me. I elected to play it quietly, with an intensity to be
felt and not heard, the very opposite from the interpretation given by
Miss Lyle last season, and I felt assured my efforts were appreciated
by the audiences. It encouraged me to discover them so responsive; but
Albrecht, Lane, and Mooney merely laughed and winked at each other, and
thus hurt me cruelly, although I had little respect for their
criticisms. Still, they were professional actors of experience, and I
was not yet certain that my judgment might not be wrong. Miss Head,
the _ingenue_, a girl of sweet disposition but little education,
praised my efforts warmly, but otherwise your evident appreciation is
my only real reward. I spoke to you that evening in the wings not so
much to scold you for being in the way, as from a hungry, despairing
hope that you might speak some word of encouragement. I was not
disappointed, and I have felt stronger ever since."
"I should never have suspected any such purpose. We have never so much
as exchanged speech since, until to-day, and then I forced it."
She shook her head, a vagrant tress of her black hair loosening.
"You must be a very young and inexperienced man to expect to comprehend
all that any woman feels merely by what she says or does."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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