Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
|Cummins City is still a crude metropolis. Society has not yet arrived
at the white vest and lawn sociable period there. There is nothing to
hamper any one or throw a tiresome restraint around him. You walk up and
down the streets of the camp without feeling that the vigilant eye of
the policeman is upon you, and when you register at the leading hotel
the proprietor don't ask how much baggage you have, or insist upon it
that your valise ought to be blown up with a quill to give it a robust
appearance.
Speaking of this hotel, however, brings to my mind a little incident
which really belongs in here. There are two ladies at this place, the
only ones in the city limits, if my memory serves me. One of these
ladies owns a lot of poles or house logs which were, at the time
of which I speak, on the dump, as it were, ready to be used in the
construction of a new cabin.
It seems that some of the prospectors of the corporation, without
the fear of God or the Common Council of Cummins City, had been
appropriating these logs from time to time until out of a good, fair
assortment there remained only a dejected little pile of "culls." The
owner had watched with great annoyance the gradual disappearance of
her property from day to day, and it made her lose faith in the final
redemption of all mankind. She became cynical and misanthropical, lost
her interest in the future, and became low spirited and unhappy.
One day, however, after this thing had proceeded about far enough she
went to her trunk, and taking out the large size of navy revolver, the
kind that plows up the vitals so successfully and sends so many Western
men to their long home. Then she went out to where a group of men had
scattered themselves out around camp to smoke.
She wasn't a large woman at all, but these men respected her. Though
they were only rough miners there in the wilderness they recognized that
she was a woman, and they recognized it almost at a glance, too. There
she was alone among a wild group of men in the mountains, far from the
protecting arm of the law and the softening influences of metropolitan
life, and yet the common feeling of gallantry implanted in the masculine
breast was there.
She indicated with a motion of her revolver that she desired to call the
meeting to order. There seemed to be a general anxiety on the part of
every man present to come to order just as soon as circumstances would
permit. Then she made a short speech relative to the matter of house
logs, and suggested that unless a certain number of those articles, now
invisible to the naked eye, were placed at a certain point, or a certain
amount of kopecks placed on file with the chairman of the meeting within
a specified time, that perdition would be popping on Main Street in
about two and one-half ticks of the chronometer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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