Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
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Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
|A noble, generous-hearted man in Cheyenne lost a wallet on Saturday, at
the Key City House, and an honest chambermaid found it in his room. The
warm heart of the man swelled with gratitude, and seemed to reach out
after all mankind, that he might in some way assist them with the $250
which was lost, and was found again. So he fell on the neck of the
chambermaid, and while his tears took the starch out of her linen
collar, he put his hand in his pocket and found her a counterfeit
twenty-five cent scrip. "Take this," he said, between his sobs, "virtue
is its own reward. Do not use it unwisely, but put it into Laramie
County bonds, where thieves cannot corrupt, nor moths break through and
gnaw the corners off."
THE MODERN PARLOR STOVE.
|In view of the new and apparently complex improvements in heating
stoves, and the difficulty of readily operating them successfully, a
word or two as to their correct management may not be out of place at
this time.
Some time since, having worn out my old stove and thrown it aside, I
purchased a new one called the "Fearfully and Wonderfully Maid." It had
been highly spoken of by a friend, so I set it up in the parlor, turned
on steam, threw the throttle wide open, and waited to see how it would
operate. At the first stroke of the piston I saw that something was
wrong with the reversible turbine wheel, and I heard a kind of grating
sound, no doubt caused by the rubbing of the north-east trunnion on the
face plate of the ratchet-slide. Being utterly ignorant of the workings
of the stove, I attempted to remedy this trouble without first reversing
the boomerang, and in a few moments the gas accumulated so rapidly that
the cross-head gave way, and the right ventricle of the buffer-beam
was blown higher than Gilroy's kite, carrying with it the saddle-plate,
bull-wheel and monkey-wrench. Of course it was very careless to overlook
what the merest school-boy ought to know, for not only were all these
parts of the stove a total wreck, but the crank-arbor, walking-beam
and throat-latch were twisted out of shape, and so mixed up with the
feed-cam, tumbling-rod, thumb-screw, dial-plate and colic indicator,
that I was obliged to send for a practical engineer at an expense of
$150, with board and travelling expenses, to come and fix it up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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