Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
There are, indeed, many things for which we individually and as a people
should be devoutly thankful. Think, for instance, how many Indians along
our frontier have escaped violent deaths. Consider for a moment how a
long and bloody war has been avoided by the more gentle sway of peace.
See how the olive branch waves, where a few months ago the tocsin of war
echoed from the rugged hills of the West. The saber now hangs idly in
its sheath and the alarums of war have petered out. See what a kind
and considerate policy toward the wild untutored savage will do toward
promoting the advance of universal civilization. By means of the Boston
peace plan the opera and pin-pool and other adjuncts of wealth and
refinement will be placed within the reach of the most illiterate and
worthless sons of the forest.
It is true we are looked upon by other nations as the republic with
a warm molasses poultice Indian policy; but right and softness and
gentleness have overcome brute force and might. We of the West are too
apt to be violent and radical in our treatment of the Indian. When he
kills our family, all the family we have got, perhaps, too, and leaves
us a lonely widower with the graves of our mangled household to remember
him by, we are too prone to be bitter, and say mean, hateful things
about him, and run him down and destroy his boom. We do not stop to
consider that this is all the fun he has. We should learn to control
ourselves, and look upon the Indian as a diamond in the rough. That's
the way I do. I look upon Colorow as a regular Kohinoor, if he were only
polished. I would be willing to polish him, too, if I had time and
felt strong enough. I would hold his nose against an emery wheel, or
something of that kind, very cheerfully, if my time were not all taken
up.
But I have wandered away from what I was going to say relative to the
old year and drifted into the Indian question, thus crowding out many
sweet little things which I had mapped out to say of the snowy winding
sheet which shrouds the dying year, and some more things of that kind,
touching: and beautiful in the extreme. I have allowed other matters to
take the place of these little poetical passages and make a dull, prosy
article of what I had intended to construct into a frail and beautiful
fabric, with slender pinnacles, sublime arches and Queen Anne woodshed.
HERE WE COME!
[Illustration: 8028]
HERE WE COME! HERE WE COME!
13 BILL NYE'S 13
Thirteenth Grand Semi-Annual FAREWELL CIRCUS AND HIPPODROME.
[Illustration: 0028]
He eats nothing but fresh Ohio men.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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