Clavering turned hot and cold several times during his walk home. He
had been atrociously rude, impertinent. If she hadn't ordered him out
of the house it must have been because she was a creature of moods, and
he had merely amused her for the hour. No doubt she would wake up in a
proper state of indignation and give her servants orders. . . .
Or--was she sincere when she demanded his friendship, willing to put up
with his abominable manners, trusting to her own wit to defeat him,
lull his suspicions? Friendship! The best thing for him to do was to
avoid her like the plague. He hated to admit it, but he was afraid of
her, not so much of falling in love with her and going through tragedy,
which was probably what it would come to, as of the terrible force so
skillfully hidden in that white and delicate body, of a powerful
personality fortified by an unimaginable past. She gave the impression
of a woman who had been at grips with life and conquered it, from first
to last. Formidable creature! An extraordinary achievement if true.
But was it? Women, no matter how beautiful, wealthy, highly placed
and powerfully organized, got the worst of it one way or another. When
they fell in love they were apt to lose their heads, and with that the
game. Technique crumbled. For a moment he imagined her in love,
dissolved, helpless; then hastily changed the subject. He liked women
to be strong--having long since abandoned his earlier ideal of the
supine adorant--but not too strong. Certainly not stronger than
himself. He had met a good many "strong" women in the last twelve
years, swathed, more often than not, in disarming femininity. A man
hadn't a chance with them, man's strength as a rule being all on the
outside. Women grew up and men didn't. That was the infernal truth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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