American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
On the following afternoon he managed to leave the plumbing shop, with
a plea of illness, and raced to the office of the magazine. A feathery
swirl of quickly purchased emotions--fragments of a youth that had
been shattered--revolved within his heart. As he closed the door of
the large office he saw two women seated at different desks and poised
over the rustle of papers. One was elderly and sedate, and her sober
clothes were reprimanding a substantial body. Beneath a survival of
greyish-brown hair, plainly gathered, the narrow oval of her face
looked at life with a politely questioning air. It was the mellowly
distorted expression of one who has arrived at final convictions
regarding the major parts of life, and is patiently and inflexibly
regarding the lesser perceptions surrounding her. Her slightly wrinkled
face was dominated by a long, thin nose and thin, tightly expectant
lips, and it seemed that her tired emotions had gone to sleep and were
staring out from a dream of suave wakefulness. The other woman was
hovering near the last climax of her youth, and her slender body rose
unobtrusively to the pale repressions of her face. Small and round, her
face carried a well-trimmed self-satisfaction--the reward of one whose
dreams have lived inwardly, with only an occasional sip of forbidden
cordials. Her loosely parted lips guarded a receding chin and her
barely curved nose ascended to large brown eyes and a high forehead.
Carl walked to her desk and stood for a moment like a child in a
cumbersome robe who is waiting for some inevitable rebuke. The harshly
weary assurance which he was able to display to other people vanished
in this imagined shrine of an unattained art. The young woman looked up
with courteous blankness.
“My name is Carl Felman. You wrote me a note last week,” said Carl,
delicately groping for the inconsequential words.
“Oh, yes, I remember”--her face attained a careful smile, tempered by a
modest curiosity. “I’m so glad that you came down.”
She turned to the other woman.
“Mary, this is Mr. Felman, the gentleman that I spoke to you about. He
sent us a rather interesting group of poems, you know.”
Carl winced at the word “rather”--it was associated to him with “more
or less,” “somewhat,” “somehow,” and “to some extent,” those words
and phrases with which cultured people manage to say nothing and yet
preserve the faint appearance of saying something. His breathless
attention disappeared and was replaced by the old morose aloofness.
If this woman had asserted that his poems were trivial or stifled, he
would have respected her, but now he spat contemptuously at the smooth
veil of her words.
Mary Aldridge, editor of The Poetry Review, moved her lips into an
attitude that came within a hair’s breadth of being a smile--an
expression of slightly amused and restrained condescension. She lifted
a pencil as though it were an age-old scepter held by practiced
fingers.
“How do you do, Mr. Felman,” she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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