“Gray,” said Tracey, “my friend and I have had some philosophical
disputes, which we cannot decide to our own satisfaction, on the reasons
why some men do so much more in life than other men, without having any
apparent intellectual advantage over those who are contented to be
obscure. We have both hit on a clue to the cause, in what we call motive
power. But what this motive power really is, and why it should fail in
some men and be so strong in others, is matter of perplexity, at least
to me, and I fancy my friend himself is not much more enlightened
therein than I am. So we have both come here to hear what you have to
say—you, who certainly had motive enough for ambitious purposes when you
swept away so many academical prizes—when you rushed into speech and
into print, and cast your bold eye on St Stephen’s. And now, what has
become of that motive power? Is it all put into prizes for root-crops
and sheep?”
“As to myself,” answered Gray, passing the wine, “I can give very clear
explanations. I am of a gentleman’s family, but the son of a very poor
curate. Luckily for me, we lived close by an excellent grammar-school,
at which I obtained a free admission. From the first day I entered, I
knew that my poor father, bent on making me a scholar, counted on my
exertions not only for my own livelihood, but for a provision for my
mother should she survive him. Here was motive enough to supply motive
power. I succeeded in competition with rivals at school, and success
added to the strength of the motive power. Our county member, on whose
estate I was born, took a kindly interest in me, and gave me leave, when
I quitted school, as head boy, to come daily to his house and share the
studies of his son, who was being prepared for the university by a
private tutor, eminent as a scholar and admirable as a teacher. Thus I
went up to college not only full of hope (in itself a motive power,
though, of itself, an unsafe one), but of a hope so sustained that it
became resolution, by the knowledge that to maintain me at the
university my parents were almost literally starving themselves. This
suffices to explain whatever energy and application I devoted to my
academical career. At last I obtained my fellowship; the income of that
I shared with my parents; but if I died before them the income would die
also—a fresh motive power towards a struggle for fortune in the Great
World. I took up politics, I confess it very frankly, as a profession
rather than a creed; it was the shortest road to fame, and, with
prudence, perhaps to pecuniary competence. If I succeeded in Parliament
I might obtain a living for my father, or some public situation for
myself not dependent on the fluctuations of party. A very high political
ambition was denied me by the penury of circumstance. A man must have
good means of his own who aspires to rank among party chiefs. I knew I
was but a political adventurer, that I could only be so considered; and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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