had it not been for my private motive power, I should have been ashamed
of my public one. As it was, my scholarly pride was secretly chafed at
the thought that I was carrying into the affairs of state the greed of
trade. Suddenly, most unexpectedly, this estate was bequeathed to me.
You large proprietors will smile when I say that we had always regarded
the Grays of Oakden Hall with venerating pride; they were the head of
our branch of the clan. My father had seen this place in his boyhood;
the remembrance of it dwelt on his mind as the unequivocal witness of
his dignity as a gentleman born. He came from the same stock as the
Grays of Oakden, who had lived on the land for more than three
centuries, entitled to call themselves squires. The relationship was
very distant, still it existed. But a dream that so great a place as
Oakden Hall, with its 1000 acres, should ever pass to his son—no, my
father thought it much more likely that his son might be prime minister!
John Gray of Oakden had never taken the least notice of us, except that,
when I won the Pitt scholarship, he sent me a fine turkey, labelled
‘From John Gray, Esq. of Oakden.’ This present I acknowledged, but John
Gray never answered my letter. Just at that time, however, as appears by
the date, he re-made his will, and placed me as remainder-man in case of
the deaths, without issue, of two nearer relations, both nephews. These
young men died unmarried—the one of rheumatic fever, a few months before
old Gray’s decease; the other, two weeks after it; poor fellow, he was
thrown from his horse and killed on the spot. So, unexpectedly, I came
into this property. Soon afterwards I married. The possession of land is
a great tranquilliser to a restless spirit, and a happy marriage is as
sedative as potent. Poverty is a spur to action. Great wealth, on the
other hand, not unnaturally tends to the desire of display, and in free
countries often to the rivalry for political power. The golden mean is
proverbially the condition most favourable to content, and content is
the antidote to ambition. Mine was the golden mean! Other influences of
pride and affection contributed to keep me still. Of pride; for was I
not really a greater man here, upon my ancestral acres and my few yearly
hundreds, than as a political aspirant, who must commence his career by
being a political dependant? How rich I felt here! how poor I should be
in London! How inevitably, in the daily expenses of a metropolitan life,
and in the costs of elections (should I rise beyond being a mere
nominee), I must become needy and involved! So much for the influence of
pride. Now for the influence of affection; my dear wife had never been
out of these rural shades among which she was born. She is of a nature
singularly timid, sensitive, and retiring. The idea of that society to
which a political career would have led me terrified her. I loved her
the better for desiring no companionship but mine. In fine, my desires
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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