Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle West -- Fiction
An ominous fact was apparent. In spite of Harlindew’s devotion to work
at the office he was achieving very little. He had reached a certain
point and come to a standstill. His salary, large according to the
ideas with which he had begun, was a dwindling insufficiency when it
came to paying their bills. He was beginning to be afraid that he
might never go farther. She remembered now a saying that Barcroft had
repeated to her: “Push may start behind, but it’s got brains beat all
hollow in the end.” He was referring to the kind of brains Miles had,
theoretic and literary. Miles himself tried to explain his predicament
in words of much the same import. There was a “point of saturation,”
he said, in salaries and advancement, unless you “got outside and went
after the business.” Apparently that was what he could not do.
At the same time, an incredible number of new expenses, roundly
chargeable to the item named “baby” had absorbed all their early
savings except a few hundred dollars, which she jealously kept--not so
much in fear of an emergency, as with the hope that it might be the
magic key to open the door to some way out of their life. But she went
into this treasure to buy Miles decent business suits. They were both
behind in similar comforts and vanities.
Harlindew seemed to resent any invasion of his evenings, to prefer
to sit with her and his thoughts. Yet in reality he was full of an
enormous restlessness to which he dared not surrender. The office
needed all his energy; he could not spend it. So he thought.... Moira
would take the bored man out whenever her maid would stay, trying to
revive the spirit of their old comradeship. It came to life only in
rare flashes.
Her twenty-eighth year passed. She found herself with more freedom on
her hands now, and she obtained work from Elsie Jennings which brought
in a few dollars a week. She was not sure which feeling was uppermost
in Miles, his pleasure at seeing the money or his disgust at finding
her painting silly gift cards. Her painting, the fact that she had
always kept it up to some extent, was his consolation, a vicarious
substitute for his own emptiness.... But the money made them more
comfortable.
Then she discovered that she was going to have another baby. He took
the announcement casually, even with a joke.
“By Jove, my dear,” he said, “I’m succeeding in something, anyway.”
He sat down and chuckled to himself. Three things had struck him as
very funny. One was that he had never in his life pictured himself as
a prolific father--like his own father; another was that he would be
thirty-seven that week--and the third that he had come home to tell
Moira his salary had been cut.
She dropped quickly, beseechingly beside him, disliking the sound of
his laugh.
“What’s the matter, darling, is it too much?”
He put his arms across her shoulders in an accustomed gesture.
“No, no, dear. How absurd. I’m as glad as I can be.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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