Europe -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; New Zealand -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, New Zealand
“But—look here——” He pushed away his cup and began to speak very fast.
“I simply haven’t got any external life at all. I don’t know the names
of things a bit—trees and so on—and I never notice places or furniture
or what people look like. One room is just like another to me—a place
to sit and read or talk in—except,” and here he paused, smiled in a
strange naive way, and said, “except this studio.” He looked round him
and then at her; he laughed in his astonishment and pleasure. He was
like a man who wakes up in a train to find that he has arrived,
already, at the journey’s end.
“Here’s another queer thing. If I shut my eyes I can see this place
down to every detail—every detail. . . . Now I come to think of it—I’ve
never realized this consciously before. Often when I am away from here
I revisit it in spirit—wander about among your red chairs, stare at the
bowl of fruit on the black table—and just touch, very lightly, that
marvel of a sleeping boy’s head.”
He looked at it as he spoke. It stood on the corner of the mantelpiece;
the head to one side down-drooping, the lips parted, as though in his
sleep the little boy listened to some sweet sound. . . .
“I love that little boy,” he murmured. And then they both were silent.
A new silence came between them. Nothing in the least like the
satisfactory pause that had followed their greetings—the “Well, here we
are together again, and there’s no reason why we shouldn’t go on from
just where we left off last time.” That silence could be contained in
the circle of warm, delightful fire and lamplight. How many times
hadn’t they flung something into it just for the fun of watching the
ripples break on the easy shores. But into this unfamiliar pool the
head of the little boy sleeping his timeless sleep dropped—and the
ripples flowed away, away—boundlessly far—into deep glittering
darkness.
And then both of them broke it. She said: “I must make up the fire,”
and he said: “I have been trying a new . . .” Both of them escaped. She
made up the fire and put the table back, the blue chair was wheeled
forward, she curled up and he lay back among the cushions. Quickly!
Quickly! They must stop it from happening again.
“Well, I read the book you left last time.”
“Oh, what do you think of it?”
They were off and all was as usual. But was it? Weren’t they just a
little too quick, too prompt with their replies, too ready to take each
other up? Was this really anything more than a wonderfully good
imitation of other occasions? His heart beat; her cheek burned and the
stupid thing was she could not discover where exactly they were or what
exactly was happening. She hadn’t time to glance back. And just as she
had got so far it happened again. They faltered, wavered, broke down,
were silent. Again they were conscious of the boundless, questioning
dark. Again, there they were—two hunters, bending over their fire, but
hearing suddenly from the jungle beyond a shake of wind and a loud,
questioning cry. . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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